No.. we will not keep trying for that girl...

So I’m going to be the Mom of two boys.

My life is going to be trucks, dirt, sports, worms, bugs, sports, consuming whole boxes of cereal in one sitting… and most likely sports.

And I couldn’t be happier, or feel more content in that this is what was meant to be for me, and that I’m going to be the Mom I always hoped and wanted to be.

Let me back up…

Most little girls talk or at least think about their future kids and family. I remember being in middle school and thinking how cool it would be to be a Mom to boys. I was curious to know what went on in houses full of boys.. and boy slumber parties… and as a Mom to boys, I’d be an insider to that knowledge!

That feeling stayed with me all of my adolescence and into adulthood… I never felt the desire to have a daughter.

Sure, baby girls are super cute, and sweet and don’t get me started on the clothes!!!

I love baby girls… I just didn’t really want one.

I was a moody teenager. I struggled (probably like most girls) with self-esteem, confidence, standing up for myself, not falling prey to charming boys who didn’t mean well. I struggled with relationships, and how to not lose myself in the hopes that someone would just fall in love with me.

Thankfully, I ended up with an awesome husband and I’m finally secure in my skin and I couldn’t be happier to be a woman. But when I reflect on all of this, and all the crap I dealt with to get to this point… It turned off my desire to ever raise a daughter.

Girls are hard.

Maybe I’m wrong, and given the chance I would have done a great job.. but I didn’t see myself connecting with a daughter well. As much as you may not believe it, I’m not a huge “girly girl” either. I don’t like the color pink or the phrase "princes," and I’m not a big shopper.. so all the things most women want to do with daughters (tea parties, manicures, shopping, etc) I didn’t really have the desire to do. I always just felt in my gut that I would relate better to boys, and enjoy raising boys more.

I will confess that I was CONVINCED I was pregnant with a girl.. based on my symptoms… and I so convinced myself that when we found out it was a boy, I had a slight feeling of disappointment. Mostly because I had to change the way I had been thinking for weeks. I had been focusing on girl names, and how I was going to handle and connect with a girl.

There was also the realization that a girl was something I will never have (no, we are NOT having a third kid), so there were some feelings of “well, now that I’ll never have one, maybe I want one” but they quickly disappeared.

Boys just fit me.

I love to cook and I express my love for people by making dinners, muffins, treats.. etc. Who appreciates that a lot? Hungry boys.

I’m an introvert who NEEDS alone time and quiet time to be happy. This is going to be possible with boys. They can go get muddy together, or head to a baseball game with Daddy and let me have my hour of re-energizing quietness.. and probably come home to warm chocolate chip cookies. J

I love to be a supporting role.. and not the lead. I want to sit in the bleachers and cheer on my boys, offer them kisses when they get hurt, snacks to share with their team, and be their unconditional love.

I think I was meant to be a boy Mom. I really do. And I feel very lucky and fortunate to be getting the kids I feel I was meant to have.

I’m beyond excited to welcome another bly into my life, and be his Mommy and make him cookies and kiss his owies.

So to all those who will comment in the future to "keep on trying for that girl!" or "third time is a charm! You'll get your girl!" I will say thanks but no thanks to. 

My heart belongs to the boys... 

And let's not forget, this way I get to be the Queen of the House from now on!! J