Oh....... It's You.

It's 4:30 pm on a weekday.

I just spent 9 hours at work, chained to my desk and its tornado of spreadsheets, releasing percentages, inventory and issues.

I pack up my laptop, shut down, say good-bye and practically run over to daycare.

Time to see my baby boy!! Time to get a hug and a kiss and hear him cry "Mama!!"

I'm thinking about his sweet soft cheeks and his little hands and I'm just so excited because I've missed him all day!

I walk into the center, check him out of the computer and peek into his classroom.

Empty, lights off.. they must be outside playing.

I walk down the hall and go outside.... and there is my little man! Sitting in a play car, zooming around the playground like he owns the joint.

I say hi to his lovely teacher and get his little "report card" for the day.. and finally walk up to Austin to say hello.

Mommy is here little one!!!!!

What does he do? He takes one look at me and goes "No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and turns his body away from me.

"Hi sweetheart!!"

"No!!!" squirm and twist in the play car.

"Did you have a good day!"

"No!!!" squirm and twist in the play car.

"Ready to go home?"

"No!!!" squirm and twist in the play car.

No hug. No kiss. No running with open arms yelling "Mama!" with his big grin.

Nope, not my kid. I get a "oh crap! SHE'S here reaction.

I have to drag him out of the play car, kicking and whining and very quickly exit the playground and book it for my car... all the while my kid who loves daycare a bit too much is crying and fighting against me.

School has playgrounds! And art! And other kids! And critter munch for snacks!

The wonders never cease!!!

And here I am, expecting him to want to go home???

I'm such a selfish, mean Mommy.

Mr. Popular

Let me just make this disclaimer… any personality trait of Austin I’m going to write about came from his Father. Not his “was an awkward too skinny and dorky and ridiculously silly teenager” mother.

Ok then.

I think Austin is the most popular kid in his class.

I first starting thinking this back when he was in the infant room… he was about 8 months old. I’d go and visit him every day at lunch and he was way into pulling himself up and cruising at that point, so I’d sit and watch him pull up on a crib, cruise to another crib, crawl to the chair, pull up… etc.

Everywhere he went.. 2 or 3 other kids followed. If Austin was alone in whatever he was doing, he wouldn’t be for long. The other kids would crawl over to him and start doing what he was doing and following him around the room.

I went home and told Neal that day that I think we had a little Mr. Popular on our hands..

The other babies seemed like they “flocked” toward Austin and were drawn to him, whatever he was doing. His teachers even confirmed that with stories of how other babies copied him, or followed him, or liked to be around him.

Now that he is in the Wobbler room, Mr. Popular still seems to reign.

One day I came to pick Austin up and he had on 1 sock and 1 shoe (on the same foot). His teacher said he had spent most of the day like that, and as soon as he took off the 1 sock and shoe, a few of the other kids noticed and did the same thing.

Then there is the little girl who cries every day when Austin leaves.

Don’t worry kiddos… Mr. Too Cool for School will be back tomorrow…

Oh, and there was the kid that got up off his mat during nap time, crawled over to Austin’s mat, and wanted to sleep by him.

Where did this Mr. Popular come from???

Oh, yes.

His father.

His social butterfly- has-2,487-friends-and-everyone-just-adores-him father.

I mean, I guess I can’t blame all those kids… check out his school portrait. Any kid who has the Olan Mills-style head tilt down that good, deserves to be too cool for school. J

The First of Many

There are a lot of transitions that happen when you have a baby.

You go from a couple to a family

You go from sleeping as much as you want, to propping your eyelids open with toothpicks

You make it through the hellish newborn days to transition to the fun sitter/crawler/cruiser days

All along this journey you celebrate all the little milestones- the first time they sleep more than 2 hours in a row, the first smile, the first unsupported sit, the first crawl, the first pull-up to a standing position, the first cruise around the furniture.

And then comes a day when you realize that your baby is really growing up… and rapidly becoming less and less of a baby with each passing day.

This happened yesterday.

We got a letter from Austin’s daycare that he is ready to be transitioned into the Wobbler room.

Austin is bigger than all the other infants in his room, and days away from walking (I know, scary right????  He’s already taking one or two wobbly little steps- slow down kid!!!), so he is quickly outgrowing the learning experiences in his Infant Room.

There was just something so definite, so “your baby isn't a baby anymore” when I was reading his welcome letter from the Wobbler room. He’s going to need shoes, because they go outside every day that its nice. He’ll learn how to use eating utensils, and how to nap on more of a schedule. He’ll take part in more structured learning experiences centered around different developmental subjects.

It just seemed like…. well…. REAL SCHOOL.

Different subjects? Lunch all together where the food isn't smeared in their hair? Outside recess??

And I lost it. I sat down. I cried. I wanted my baby to stop growing up so fast.

Neal told me it was ok, and this was “the first of many” transitions in Austin’s life and each one was going to be exciting.

I told him that’s true, but I’ll still cry over every single one. That’s what Moms do.

We cry when they get a big-kid bed.

We cry when they go to Kindergarten.

We cry when they graduate High School.

We cry when they go to college.

We cry when they get married.

The road ahead is paved with a lot of change, and transitions, and new experiences… and I am truly excited to see what kind of man Austin is going to grow up to be (hopefully a man as good as his Daddy)…

But the road is also paved in a lot of tears.

Bring on the Kleenex.

All ready for the road ahead!

Putting the Daycare Fears Aside..

Its funny how many times in my life I've said something and then ended up eating my words later on.

Nom nom nom.

My words are quite tasty, actually.

When I was pregnant I despaired over that fact that Austin was going to have to go to daycare.

I remember taking a shower one night, largely pregnant, and crying.

Just totally sobbing with shampoo running down into my ears as I made Neal stand in the bathroom so I could sob to him.

I didn't want Austin to go to daycare.

I didn't want to have someone else raise my baby.

I was afraid I he was going to forget who I was.

I was afraid we were going to be poor beyond destitute trying to pay for good care.

I cried at the injustice of how all my friends having babies got to either stay home or had family to look after the baby.

Sob and shampoo, sob and shampoo.

Neal tried to console me and (what else?) convince me that everything would be ok.

He told me that he and his sister went to daycare and they liked it, they had fun with the other kids.

I think I threw the shampoo bottle at him.

Fast forward several months and here we are... I'm back at work and Austin goes full-time to "school."

(I call daycare "school" because I like how it sounds. And doesn't the image of a little baby all dressed up cute going to school just make you squeal a little bit?)

Anyways.. I am now eating my previous words and savoring each bite.

I LOVE that Austin goes to school.

He is attending the school that is right in the same parking lot as my office, and caters to Kroger/Fred Meyer employees.

I get to see him everyday at my lunch and am greeted by huge smiles, giggles and a squirmy baby who just can't wait to be held by his Momma.

My fear that someone else would raise my baby??? Well, I realized that his "teachers" aren't raising my baby. They are playing with him, feeding him, teaching him and helping him grow into a little individual.

They teach him sign language, and songs, and what colors are.... and even to finger paint!

But my baby is still mine to raise.. he'll grow up with my morals, my rules.. and his teachers are just there to reinforce those.

And my fear about him forgetting me? Ok, one of my more stupid fears, I'll admit.

<Insert Neal rolling his eyes...>

He knows me.. his smile and excitement when he sees me during the day confirms that. And the way he plays with the ends of my hair while I sit and rock him? Just cooing and snuggling his face down into my arm? Oh yeah.. he knows his Mommy.

And for the money? Well.. its expensive. I won't lie. We could rent an apartment with what we pay... But its not as horrible as I thought it was going to be, and we will actually be able to eat more than just Top Ramen every night.

The social skills and learning and exposure he is getting is beyond worth the price to me.

And me being able to have my career and something that is just for me, while knowing I get to have the best damn lunch hour ever any day snuggling with my love?

Priceless.

Hm. Whadda know? Everything ended up ok. Neal was right.

Don't tell him I admitted to that though, ok??