No Sleep and The Beginning of the End..

I wrote in my 4-month update on Owen that we were 100% breastmilk and that I was SO proud.

That streak is now broken.

Yep, we've introduced formula.

It wasn't an easy decision (even though Austin was almost 100% formula fed, it was still hard to make that decision for Owen)... but it has been on my mind for a few weeks now.

Why?

Because we are dying a slow death of not sleeping.

Let me backtrack..

Literally the day after Owen turned 4 months, he started sleeping horribly. He used to nurse at 8pm, be down until 2-2:30 am, nurse, then be up at 6am. Up ONCE to eat.

Suddenly, he was up twice a night. Then it was three times a night.. Then four some nights... then more some nights...

Then the last few weeks (since  right before Christmas) it has been three times a night (on a GOOD night)... and on a bad night? EIGHT TIMES he was up.

The day after Christmas Neal and I drove home with Owen and I was so tired and so sleep-deprived from the previous weeks that I was physically sick all day. Nauseous, shaky, I couldn't stand up (no, I'm NOT pregnant)... we were cleaning the house and I had to keep lying on the floor to not throw up. My eyes burned, I was not well.

This terrible sleeping has continued... and I'm losing my mind.

I'm not concentrating at work well, I'm snappy and short-tempered toward Austin, I'm a total b**** at 3am to my husband.

I couldn't function on less than 2 hour chunks of sleep (sometimes less), every single night anymore.

Obvious reason for this was the dreaded 4-month sleep regression, right??

I researched it and we tried to just "ride it out..." and we have been for the last month.

Things aren't getting better and we are days away from the 5 month mark and he was getting worse at night.

What was going on with Owen???

So I'm taking a shower Sunday night.. swaying and near tears thinking about how it was almost "bedtime" and I was facing another night of up-every-hour... and it just hit me.

We needed to do something.

We needed to get Owen full, satisfied, settled... and SLEEPING.

I realized my stubbornness to not introduce formula was primarily so I could brag that I was "exclusively breast-feeding."

See, that was a club I was desperate to be a part of when I had Austin and I was denied entry into that club.. so when I finally made it in this time with Owen, I was willing to fight tooth and nail to not give up my membership.

But as I took a shower, I realized my stubborn reason was negatively affecting my entire family.

I was sleep deprived and emotional and bitchy.

Neal was sleep deprived.

Owen was sleep deprived and not sleeping well during the day either

Austin got a Mom who was too tired to play with him, too tired to talk to him, who brushed him away and told him him to go do other things because I needed to sit and be tired.

I was being selfish.

I told Neal that night, I was ready to try formula at night, to see if that would help Owen sleep. I needed to get off my high horse for the sake of my family.

I cried when I gave Owen that bottle, and prayed that I was doing the right thing. We nursed, then he got 2oz of bottle to top him off.

And... it did nothing.

He was up ALL NIGHT Sunday night again. I was nursing every (barely) two hours, and I had nursed every (barely) two hours that whole day too.

What was going on?

We tried it again last night.... he got a 4oz bottle at bed at 7:30, then went down. I pumped an hour later. We got a 3 hour stretch out of him, but he was hungry again.. so I nursed... and he was hungry AN HOUR later. Neal gave him another 4oz bottle and he was HUNGRY AGAIN TWO HOURS LATER.

WHAT THE HELL.

We are also sleep training and encouraging him to self-soothe, sending Neal in the room instead of me, and with all that, Owen did great. But he still wanted to eat three times last night and he RAVENOUSLY ate. It didn't matter if it was bottle or boob... he wasn't getting enough.

Sleep training, proper sleep environment, bottles, boobs... and still no sleep.

And before you think we hadn't tried everything in the past month to get him to sleep.. let me assure you we did. Swaddle, un-swaddle, swing, carseat, white noise, music, bottle of breastmilk, cereal before bed, bath, massage, rocking, stories, warm room, cool room, sheets that smell like me, etc...etc.. etc...

You name it, we tried it.

So another epiphany today... and I don't know why I hadn't thought of this.. but Owen isn't eating enough during the day.

He's back-loading at night because he's so hungry. It all seems so simple and so clear now.

He gets 4oz bottles at daycare, and nurses in the morning, evening and weekends. Even though he isn't crying or unhappy after his bottles... I don't think he is full. This 4oz is enough to make him not hungry.. but not full either.

That would explain the every (barely) 2 hours of nursing we've done all weekend long for the last few weeks. And the eating all night long.

I looked up how much a 5 month old baby should eat.. and read it was most common to be at 5-6oz. Some even were at 8oz.

My boobs are not making that much.

I knew this day would come... I am not a big milk producer, and I knew we'd hit a day where Owen needed more from me than I could produce... that day is here.

My decision to start supplementing, is then, (I believe) the right decision for us.

If I didn't work outside the home, I'd be more than willing to nurse on demand.. but pumping at work, and trying to squeeze out enough for his (now bigger) bottles.. that's stressful. I already have panic attacks on days I don't pump as much as I think I should.

I realize that supplementing is most likely the beginning of the end of nursing.. I'll slowly produce less I'm sure.. and part of me is sad, and part is ok with that.

I made it way farther than I did with Austin, and farther than I thought I would when I was pregnant with Owen. He got almost 5 months of nothing but milk from me. Now he needs more, and Momma needs some help.

My freezer milk with help, but it won't last forever... and I plan on nursing on the weekends and mornings and evenings for as long as I can.

So maybe the answer all along was more food.. and it just took me a month to realize that.

Let's hope that the bigger bottles and the bit of supplementing after nursing will help settle this little one better.. .sleep a bit better and we can all get back to feeling normal and not near-zombies.

Here's hoping for better nights, and better days in the near horizon...

Project 857- December 13

As most of you may know.. this Saturday was a bit rough in our house.

I knew the day would come where we had both kids sick... so the day finally came. Granted, in the grand scheme of life this is definitely not the most sick our kids will ever be... that I know is yet to come.

As far as what Neal and I had experienced though, this was the roughest day/night we've had so far.. especially since it was the first as parents to two kids.

The day started off good, other than Austin had croup. He came into our room in the wee early morning hours, crying and coughing and in an instant I was like "It's croup. There go our plans today."

We were supposed to go to a playdate and then to Zoo Lights with friends. Even though cold air is good for croup, so being outside would be good... the last thing I wanted was to be the parent that brought the croup-kid to a playdate and had him hack all over all the other kids.

Once we were all up and dressed we went and got coffee and did some shopping.

Austin loved these random duck friends that were hanging outside the Starbucks.

 "Quack! Where's my latte??? Gimme a latte. Quack."

Owen had a new hat to wear and was so happy to show it off!

Then somewhere... things fell apart.

We got home from shopping and Austin got a little lethargic.

We watched a lot of cartoons, and read a lot of book. Yes, I said "book." Non-plural. Because he is quite obsessed with this pop-up book that was mine as a kid..

Ask by the end of the month if I have this memorized, and the answer will probably be "yes."

We got Austin down for a nap, and when he woke up he was feeling a bit better but still coughing. He decided to grab his brother and do some yoga on Neal's new yoga mat.

Yes.. my husband bought a yoga mat. And is going to start doing yoga. I know, it shocked me too!

Then someone got tired again.

All through the day we struggled with Owen too. We didn't know what was wrong with him, but he wasn't nursing well.. lots of unlatching, pushing on me, arching his back, kicking his feet, fussing... not like him.

He also wasn't napping.

We tried holding him, walking him, laying him down, swaddling him... nothing was really working and he cried hard, big real tears many times during the day. Also unlike him, since he's been a jolly little elf lately.

We assumed it was a tummy ache because he was pooping and farting constantly so we spent the day trying to work out his tummy ache.

Then.. came bedtime...

8:30pm: Austin given cough medicine and put to bed

9pm: a restless Owen nursed and put to bed

10:30pm: Neal and I in bed

11:00pm: Owen restless and needed soothing

12:00pm: Owen restless and needed soothing.. but as soon as we touched him, he started crying SO HARD. Actually, he was screaming. I tried to latch him on. He turned his head refusing, and screamed harder. Neal tried to bounce him. Nope. Neal went and heated up a bottle of milk we had in the fridge and Owen ate that, but fussed a lot.

1:00am: Owen back in bed, settled

1:30am: I hear Austin crying in his room. I go in there and he's coughing and struggling to breathe. I hold him on my lap and rock him, get him to match my breaths and calm down so he can breathe better. Neal gets him water, more medicine.

2:00am: Austin is settled and Neal gets settled on the floor in his room to listen over his breathing the rest of the night.

2:30am: I'm awake and Googling if we should be really concerned with Austin's croup. I pop my head in his room and Neal tells me he is sounding better.

3:00am: Owen is up and nurses ok this time.

4:00am: Owen is up again and starting to do the really fussy thing like he did before so I grab him and bring him into bed with me.

7:00am: we get 3 hours of sleep and Owen wakes and nurses in bed just fine.

7:15am: Austin is awake and in good spirits.

7:30am: Neal and I down some major coffee.

Parenting merit badge earned. Oh how lovely to know there are countless nights like this still in our future...

Stay-at-Home Mom Chronicles

I got to enjoy several weeks as a temporary stay-at-home Mom during my maternity leave.

We kept Austin in daycare part-time, so his whole routine wasn't different while adjusting to a new sibling at home, and on the days I had both my kiddos.. well..

We had fun, we had a ton of diaper changes, hours of cartoons, messy crafts, a few "Don't tell your Dad I let you color on the carpet with markers" moments, park adventures, several tantrums, some tears, and many memories.

I wouldn't change it for anything.

Here is what we spent our days doing (picture overload!!)

Killing some time at Toys R Us one rainy day.. this was his favorite ride!

I mastered (kinda) the art of running to the store with two kids. God bless the car carts.. 

Walks and rides and baby wearing. Lots of baby wearing. 

We took naps... the one and ONLY time they slept at the same time. 

My kitchen looked like this, all day. Everyday. I swear the dishes multiplied when my back was turned.

Hours of baby cuddling.. he can be so demanding sometimes. Darn him. :-)

Austin helped me "make a list" before going to the store. This is him studying it. 

This kid is born and raised in the Pacific Northwest for sure!!

We eagerly waited for Daddy to get home... sometimes on the curb. With the neighbors looking at us oddly. 

Batman showed up a time or two.. he helped keep us safe from the villain "refrigerator guy" 

We had a lunch date with our favorite Auntie Mo!!

Arts and Crafts time.. only a little bit of paint ended up on the carpet. Oops.. another thing to "don't tell Daddy.." 

We stayed in pajamas all day some days.. play food just tastes better when it was made while wearing pajamas

Rare toddler naps in Mommy and Daddy's bed

Stormy days called for pajamas, gold chains and hot cocoa

Several weeks together and Austin still likes his baby brother!

The long summer meant days at the playground!

Tummy time...one expert, one novice

I let him brush my hair... at least my dark circles are hidden

Our last day together...he wanted to wear underwear and have a picnic. There were some potty accidents...but the picnic was the best ever.

Napping Deja Vu with Baby #2

I will admit- I had to Google the spelling on that. :-)

Anyways... I am finding that Baby Owen is a spitting carbon copy of Baby Austin in so many ways... yet I'm still finding it hard to deal with him some (a lot) of the time, even though certain behaviors are not alien to me..

Napping.

Or I should say, lack thereof. Owen will NOT nap. At least not nap well, or for a long time. Austin was the same way. I remember taking him the doctor once just to see if something was wrong with him because all I could get him to do was nap for about 15 mins all day long.

(Note- nothing was wrong with him, he was just an "active" baby that needed a lot of help to fall asleep)

History repeats itself... Owen nurses, is awake and happy and checking things out for about 10 mins after eating.. then the "tired" noise starts. Oh boy... what's my plan of action this time?

Swaddle?

Swing?

Rock and hold?

Crib?

Couch?

Front pack?

Car seat?

We've tried them all and they all work sometimes and are epic failures other times.

Lately it's taken me at least 30 mins (sometimes an hour) to soothe him to at least the point where his eyes are closing.. all the while he's getting more and more cranked up, more and more tired and making his body more and more stiff and harder to hold and soothe.

Why do I get so frustrated?

Austin did the same damn thing. I should be used to this.. or at least know what to do... I blogged once that trying to hold and soothe him was like trying to hold a log- stiff and impossible to cuddle.

It's not that I don't wrack my brain with how I can fix this..

We burp.

We sway.

We rock.

We try nursing again.. ok, nope.. you are playing around on there, obviously not hungry.

We try massage.

And finally, FINALLY he falls asleep.

Oops... gotta scratch my nose.. oh god, I need to scratch my nose!!!! Ok.. quick scratch... ahhh... better...

DAMN IT!!!!!!

Moving my arm woke him back up!!

Here we go again... rock and soothe.. sway and walk... swaddle, unswaddle.. swing? Nope, hated that..

Bounce, bounce, bounce...

I'll be honest. I'm exhausted from having to do this all day, everyday... just to get him to finally snooze for about the time it takes me to go to the bathroom or get more water.

Austin finally just grew out of this... about 6 months later.. Sigh. That's a long time from now. I'm getting to the "very frazzled" point.

Not to mention, I'm terrified to go anywhere with Owen because if he gets to the overly tired point... well.. let's just say the kid has some powerful lungs on him and he is not afraid to use them.

I know I struggled with this same thing with Austin, but back then I didn't have toddler Austin around who basically gets ignored or told to be quiet all day long because all day every day is devoted to "Get the Baby to Sleep Before He Screams Even Louder Than He's Screaming Now."

Anyone have any bright ideas I can try?

Other than duct tape over his mouth?

I'm kidding.

Maybe.

Project 857- July 5

If you are friends with me on Facebook, you know the adventurous way my Saturday ended... but here is how it began.

We all woke up at the amazing time of 5:15am.

Despite not going to bed until 10:30pm the night before (and we think not falling asleep until the booming fireworks that shook our house-literally- ended until after midnight) darling Austin woke up at the butt crack of dawn.

Ugh. Child... let's have a discussion called "sleeping in when you go to bed late the night before..." because, really.

So needless to say we were all tired as heck this Saturday.

And when we are tired in the morning, we start playing with toys, stop playing with toys, don't put them away, and then crash amongst them while holding a spatula.

This is how my house looks. All the time

The plan for the day was for Neal to go to a family friend's funeral with his parents at 11am, then go over to his Dad's house. I would run errands with toodle-butt, get him a good nap in, then join them at Neal's Dad's around 4pm-ish for a little post-holiday BBQ.

Neal left, and Austin and I started our running around.

We got letters to spell out Owen's name in his room at Jo-Ann Fabrics (and a sweet-ass visor for Austin... he loved that thing!)

We went to Home Depot for paint samples for Owen's room, and got some popcorn and forgot where we parked..

"Dis our car, Mommy??"

"Hey Mommy, hey. I got paw-corn!!!"

Then we went to Old Navy for some more stretchy tank tops for me to wear post-baby, and Austin got to pick out a new outfit. He found a hat (just like Daddy wears!!) and looked so cute in it!

So now it was noon. Definitely naptime. I headed home and Austy fell asleep in the car because shocker! He was SO TIRED.

I get home, click the garage opener... and nothing.

What the heck?

Click, click click... point it straight at the garage door and click really hard like you do with a remote.. click click click.

Nothing.

Shit.

I put the car on park and leave it running because it was a cool 90 degrees that day.. and walk around the house to the back. Maybe we left the patio door unlocked. No such luck.

Crap.

Our neighbor, Carl, was out on his back porch and saw me and informed me the power went out at 11am that morning.

Random. A power outage on a hot day at 11am. When does that happen??

It was about 12:45 at this point and I start calling Neal. I'm thinking the funeral has got to be over by this time.. it started at 11am. He's probably at the reception.

I called..... oh.... 15 times I think?

Nothing.

WHY THE HECK DOESN'T HE FEEL HIS PHONE VIBRATE??? THAT THING IS ALWAYS IN HIS POCKET. HE IS CONSTANTLY ANSWERING IT WHEN IT RINGS ANY OTHER TIME!!!!! ACKKKKK!!!

I needed to get a hold of him to see if he could either get home ASAP to let us in with our one and only house key that was on his keychain, or if he could skip out of the funeral reception early and meet us at his Dad's.

So we wouldn't be stuck in a car, locked out.

And we waiting. And I clicked the garage opener. Over and over and over and over... thinking "the power has got to come back on. Any moment. Any moment." The car was running, the A/C was blasting..

None of our neighbors were home (Carl left soon after he told me about the outage). Kenzie wasn't home. I had nowhere to go. I had to pee. I didn't want to drive to Neal's Dad's without getting a hold of them.. or I'd just be sitting outside their locked house as well.

Finally, an hour and a half later... Neal called!!!! He had his phone on silent. No vibrating.. so he had no idea I was frantically calling him.... darn him!!

And as I was talking to him, the garage door opened!!!!

Hallelujah!!!!

Now the trick was to get the very tired, snoring toddler inside and not disrupt his much needed nap. Thankfully, I was met with success!!

Neal came home soon after that and we canceled the BBQ plans at his Dad's. Austin napped for a really long time. I was cranky and just not in the best mood, so we just laid low for the rest of the evening.

And talked about how we are making like a bajillion copies of our house key now. And putting them everywhere.

Enter the Power Struggles

As I have said before.. just when you think you know toddlers.. you realize you know NOTHING and have to go back to the drawing board and come up with a new strategy as a parent.

We have entered the realm of Power Struggles and its kicked our ass a few times already.

Backstory- Austin started walking at 10 months old.. so since then he’s been a “toddler” more than a “baby” and for these last 13 months.. he’s been an easy-going toddler 90% of the time. We’ve had some rough situations, and some tantrums… but those were mostly about him getting frustrated, or learning right from wrong (like no hitting).. things like that. He was easy going because he was happy. Quick to smile. Quick to laugh. Loved new people. Loved new places. Loved adventures. Went to bed everynight with no struggle and slept until morning. In many aspects, he was a breeze.

So that was the last 13 months.. now.. just within the last 5-6 weeks or so.. he’s changed.

He has stopped being so easy-going, and is more.. well, for lack of better word.. moody.

If he’s having an off day, you better not try and touch him, play with him, tickle him, look at him, sing to him, talk to him or basically be around him.

He started saying “no” to everything and simple things have turned into the biggest challenges: getting him to wear clothes. Getting him to wear a coat. Getting him to wear shoes. Getting him to sit down for dinner. Getting him to take a bath. Getting him to go to bed.

All things that we breezed through for over a year.

Between discussions with Neal last night and texts with friends, I realized that Austin is becoming more deep. More into his own; more into a non-baby/toddler personality.

We have a PERSON now in the house that we have to learn about, get used to, figure out how to live with and work around.. kind of like moving in with a new roommate.. no longer is he just happily toddling around the house playing and once and awhile getting mad because he can’t put his shoe on.. he now realizes he is his own person, he’s aware that he feels certain ways and has an opinion, and has decided to set up boundaries and his own bubble of self.

It was a fast transition.. and one Neal and I weren’t totally prepared for.

For example.. coming home.. we used to come home from work/school and he was excited to play! Wrestling with Daddy!!! Now, we get home and he needs awhile to be quiet. Decompress. Get used to being at home. He gets upset if we try and engage or play with him before he is ready.

Or take dinnertime… we used to plunk him in his highchair, give him food and he would eat or not eat. If he didn’t eat, we’d put him down and he’d toddle off. Now, if he doesn’t eat he doesn’t want to be put down to play. He realizes that Mommy and Daddy are still at the table and he’s not and he’s not sure how to handle that. He doesn’t want it to be dinnertime. He wants it to be playtime and he suddenly is aware that he feels like this.

For months, whatever you need your toddler to do, you just did it…. Time for a bath? PLUNK. Put them in the tub. Time to get dressed? DONE. Put clothes on them. Time to eat? PLOP. Into their highchair they go.

Then toddlers become AWARE and that’s when the Power Struggles start. They are aware that there is a state of undressed and dressed, and they are aware of which they prefer. They are aware that they enjoy playtime and don’t want to stop to eat, to change a diaper, take a bath or go to bed.

The proverbial lightbulb for them goes off and damn it blinds the parents!!

So now it feels like we are back to Square 1 with him. Everything that worked, everything we thought we knew about our kid seems to be not that true anymore. We had talks like “how can ease the transition to dinnertime better?” Obviously there is something about it that Austin is struggling with because we are in another “he won’t eat a single bite” mode, and the minute we set him in his chair, he wants out and is “all done” and starts crying and fussy and being unhappy.

We also had to talk about how to recognize when he needs to be left alone to chill, and when he is ready for playing. How to navigate his different moods and emotions. How we can encourage him to be a good member of our family but not create power struggles by always saying “no” or setting up too-strict of rules, or forcing him.

Its tricky business I tell ya.. tricky. And delicate.

To be truthful.. he is becoming more like me. Neal is super laid back, nothing ever bothers him or effects his moods, etc.. he’s happy-go-lucky 99.9% of the time. Me.. I’m mercurial. I need my space, I have a bubble, I have days where I just ‘can’t deal’ and get cranky.  I have trouble with transitions sometimes and I like routine. It seems like Austin is really starting to become like that too. His looks are all Daddy and his temperament is all Mommy.

I am groaning and my Mom is out there going “haha! Enjoy the taste of THAT medicine!”

Wish us luck as we navigate these new toddler waters!!!

Breaking the Habit- Up!

I think every new Mom is worried about what habits they are creating in their children.

Will they still need a binkie when they are 14? Will they have to sleep with a sound machine the rest of their lives?

Things like that.

One of the pieces of 'advice' I know all  new moms hear is to not pick up or hold your baby too much or you will spoil him.

Ok, so I'm here to clear up that little rumor/piece of advice.

Holding and picking up your baby when it is a BABY will not spoil him or her. Austin was a third appendage to me for months.

I TRIED to put him down, but he WOULD HAVE NONE OF IT. You've heard it from me before.. I had to go to the bathroom with him strapped to me, I couldn't shower until Neal got home at night and I ate nothing but crackers because they were easy to eat one-handed.

My baby was not spoiled. He got a bit older.. and every time I held him, he wanted down. Lurched for the ground.

Lemme down, lemme down, lemme down.. I want to EXPLORE!!!

Months of endless holding him did NOT turn him into a clingy older baby who only wanted to be held. Not in the slightest.

Then... then, we entered toddler hood and Austin started to vocalize when he wanted to be held.

"Up, up up up up up uppppppppppppp up up up up"

And what did we do?

We picked him up.

Every time.

People- take note... THIS IS WHEN YOU START CREATING A HABIT THAT SUCKS... WHEN THEY ARE A TODDLER.

I told Neal the other night that it is time to cold-turkey break Austin's habit of getting picked up whenever he asks/begs/whines/pulls our clothes.

It. Has. Become. Really. Annoying.

Every time we are walking around at home... getting a snack, making coffee, doing dishes, putting away groceries, anything other than sitting in the living room with him it's the same thing.

"Up up up up up up uppppppppppppppp up up uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-puuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh up up up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

We've tried reasoning with  him. Telling him he can't pick him up because we have our hands full, or in soapy dish water, or cooking on the hot stove, but he still persists.. this time with clothes grabbing.

"Up up up up up up uppppppppppppppp up up uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-puuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh up up up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

So. We created a monster.

A toddler monster who demands to be picked up anytime we are standing so he can see what is going on.

We should have stopped as soon as Austin was aware he was getting picked up whenever he wanted.. around his 1-year mark... but no.... we kept doing it for 11 more months.

Why?

Because whining is annoying and it got him to stop.

Parent cop-out, right there.

So now, no more.. it's going to be a rough few months with a lot of whining and tantrums but he needs to learn he can't get picked up every time he whines about it.

So remember today's lesson.. take it from the girl who learned the hard way.

Baby picking up= sweet cuddles and your baby needs it.

Toddler picking up= you have become the slave to a demanding little overlord who will pull your pants down the second you don't give into his requests.

Anyone want to send some wine our way to go with the whine we are undoubtedly  going to deal with???

Project 857- October 26

Well.

Saturday was.... ummm.... challenging to put it nicely.

To put it not so nicely, my child was disobedient, crazy, aggressive, and I was exhausted from constantly correcting him, disciplining him, constraining him and trying to get through the day.

My Mom always uses the phrase "some days chickens, some days feathers" and while I'm not entirely sure I know which is supposed to be the bad option of that phrase, I found myself saying that in my head several times on Saturday. It became a mantra of sorts as I climbed the stairs for a diaper change with a kicking screaming fighting toddler.

The day didn't start off too bad, however.. but I think how we started caused the rest of the day to be a series of mini-disasters.

Austin woke up at 4:30 am crying for his nonny (binkie). I raced down to his room, plugged it in his mouth and crawled back in bed.

He then woke up at 5:15 am babbling and talking all cute in his bed. My though was "oh hell no..." this was an hour earlier than we get him up on weekdays. There was no way. So I let him be, thinking he'd fall asleep again until his normal weekend wake up time of 7 am.

Well, the next time I opened my eyes, it was 9 am! Yikes! Good for me, bad for the kiddo. See, sometimes he goes into his morning nap when he wakes up so early and then his whole day gets screwed up. Sleeping until 9 meant there was no way he'd be ready for his nap at the usual 11 am time. Shoot.

So up we got and went downstairs to take some inventory.

He is into counting things now.. he only knows "1" and "2" though, so he had 3 nonnys with him but kept going "one, two, one, two one. One two, one, one two, one." Annual inventory was somewhat unsuccessful in that the books don't seem to balance in the nonny category.

Austin't other new thing is his "gasses" (sunglasses). He wants them all the time and will actually wear them for hours.

And yes, I let him have his nonnys that morning. He wanted them, I didn't feel like fighting it.

We had a Halloween party to go to later that afternoon, so I knew I had to do something to entertain Austin in the morning. We got dressed and headed out to look around the new Ross store that opened near us. The toys alone entertained him for almost 30 mins.

He is such a BOY. He kept pulling trucks (SHRUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!) off the shelves, and cars, and helicopters and motorcycles and wanted everything that made noise and had moving parts. I kept telling him that Santa would bring him the annoyingly loud construction equipment toy (maybe. Santa might lose that memo too.. never know I heard those elves lose memos easily...).

We went with the purpose of getting him new shoes. The kid is ROUGH on shoes. They fall apart quickly, get scuffed, get paint on them, get muddy... so I can't bring myself to buy him anything but outlet-price shoes.

Bring on mini-meltdown.... he would NOT let me try on the shoes I wanted to get. Like scream, pull his foot away, wiggle in the cart... sigh. So I told him he needed to let me try on the shoe or he couldn't look at the trucks.

Yes. I bribe and negotiate. Ask me if I care if this is not the "proper" way to raise a toddler.. blah blah blah.. they should do things just out of the desire to please people, not for rewards.. blah blah. I've read the articles. You live with him for a week and see how that works.

Anyways, we got the shoes, Mommy got a new purse, and we ended up with a Bag O' Monster Trucks too, that Austin enjoyed lining up when we got home.

"one, two, one. One, one, two one."

Books aren't balancing for the Monster trucks either.. strange.

Anyways, it was time to go to the Halloween party and of course he hasn't had a nap, because he "slept in." I could tell he was getting tired (it was 1:30 at this point, usually the time he is up from a nap) and that might have been what caused the BIGGEST MOST EPIC MELTDOWN IN AUSTIN HISTORY.

Here is what Austin was supposed to be for Halloween:

Super cute right??? Its just a shirt and pants. I put the shirt on him, he looked at it and went "no! No! No! noooooooooooooooooo!!!!" and ripped the shirt off and ran away, crying.

I chased him. Caught him. Held him down and tried to put the pants on, all the while telling him this was his costume and so cool and all that jazz. Imagine a wilderbeast thrashing about and that is what Austin was doing. With some major tears and snot running down his face.

I gave up and he just sat there, sniveling at me.

So we went on to Plan B

He's a Blazer fan. It was the best I could do.

Let's see, then he refused to put on his sweatshirt, and freaked out because he didn't want to wear these shoes and we got in the car and cried that he wanted his "gasses" which weren't in the car and I put on classical music and hoped and prayed....

Yesssss............

Only, he was SO tired that we got to the party and he was snoring. I just couldn't wake him yet so we sat in the car for 30 more mins so he'd have about an hour nap. I figured it was better than nothing, and hoped he'd perk up at the party.

The party was fun and I ate about 1,000 tortilla chips because Austin kept reaching in the bowl and grabbing a chip, taking a bite, and throwing it back in the bowl, so I had to take the chip out and eat it so there wasn't a whole bowl of toddler-munched chips.

He did have fun with his lady friend Emma though! These two together are just the cutest.. they look like blondey twins and have so much fun running around!

After a few hours of trying to wear my kid out, we headed home and ended the night with this fun exchange:

"Austin! do not throw your trucks."

"I told you not to throw your trucks. If you throw them one more time, I'm putting them away."

"Austin! Do NOT pull on Henry. That hurts him."

"Ow! Austin, do not pull Mommy's hair! That hurts Mommy... and ow!!!! that's my eye. Austin, don't poke people in the eye, that is not nice."

"Ok, off, off, owwww! get off Mommy now. DO NOT HIT MOMMY! That is not what we do to people."

Lordy.

One highlight of the night though was he got a Halloween card from his Great-Grandma Darlene and was pretty excited about it.

And we did manage one nice picture after all the floor-playing-eye-poking

Then, finally bedtime. GLORIOUS. We went upstairs and read about a dozen books.. mostly Dr. Seuss. Have you ever read tons of Dr. Seuss all in a row? Your throat starts to constrict after awhile from all the similar sounding rhyming words and just shuts down after a bit. (hack, cough)

After he went to bed I pretty much collapsed into bed too and just hoped that tomorrow would be a bit better in ToddlerLand.

And he is still 3 months away from actually be 2 years old... sigh... help.

Can Round Two be Better??

So… you all know this.. I’m a planner and I like to know how things are going to happen and be organized and prepared.

For some reason, my planner side didn’t kick into full gear when I was pregnant with Austin. Oh sure, I ran our budget 50 bajillion times to try and figure out how to keep us from begging on the streets… and I think maybe I was so consumed with the financial side of having and raising a baby that my brain couldn’t handle any other planning and organizing.

One area I completely failed at was preparing ME to be a Mom.

I planned money, I planned the actual birth (kinda), I planned his room, his toys, his clothes and closet organization… no problem.

Then suddenly I was a Mom and I fumbled through Austin’s infant days in certain important areas.  I really hope I will get on the ball and do better the next go-round:

-Making and Preparing Freezer Meals.

Ok, I MEANT to do this. I really did. But I put it off and put it off then Austin came early and was a barnacle “don’t put me down for a second” baby and Neal was coaching and in baseball season and gone every night and what happened? I ate terribly.

Cereal.

Plain crackers.

Chicken Nuggets

And that’s about it. For WEEKS. This did not help with my struggle making milk, I’m sure. I just never had time or the chance to make any good, “real” food. When Neal would get home I’d be too tired to try and whip up large meals for the coming days so it never happened. Not to mention the last thing you want to do with a new baby is to trek to the grocery store all the time so you settle for scrounging in cupboards.

This time, I fully intend to go Pinterest-crazy and make and freeze a bunch of food. Meatloaf, soups, casseroles, chili, shredded rotisserie chicken I can make salads from, etc. In fact, making and freezing food has become my #1 advice to all my pregnant friends.

Don’t be like me and go thru an entire bag of chicken nuggets (as delicious as they were) in two days. Eat real food!

-Stocking up early on easy-to-grab HEALTHY snacks

Emphasis on “not total crap.”

On that same vein, I did not prepare for my pregnancy or my post-natal time very well in the snack dept.

You’re newly pregnant, you have to eat NOW or risk feeling sick and you have nothing to eat handy. This made it all too easy for me to rely on candy bars, sugar-filled chocolate milk and greasy fast food from drive-thru’s.

And I wonder how I gained 60lbs.

This time around, I plan on having an arsenal ready. Nuts, healthy granola bars/cereal bars, individual hummus packets and healthy crackers, ingredients to make smoothies, etc… always stocked up. That way I can make a smoothie first thing in the morning and drive right by McDonalds and their gosh-darn-awesome sausage McMuffins.

I don’t think I realized how hungry I’d be, or how often I’d want to eat so I just didn’t have any good snacks at the ready.

-Investing in a post-partum wardrobe

Don’t freak out Neal, I promise I won’t go too berserk. J

But, in all honesty, you really do need some different types of clothes after you have a baby. Something I didn’t know as a first time Mom. I was also being too frugal to buy anything for myself.. settling with the “I’ll just make do” mindset and in hindsight, suffering a bit for it.

Having a new baby means nursing. Nursing requires certain body parts be accessible, very quickly and at all hours. This requires clothes and undergarments that help with that.

I didn’t own a nursing bra with Austin. 

I know, I must be, like, the only woman who tried to nurse and didn’t have a nursing bra. Why? Because they cost about $50-60 and I thought I could “make-do” with my normal bras. Sometimes I am cheap to a fault.

Well, you can’t “make-do.” That requires getting naked practically and that is not the most pleasant thing to do at the mall or a friend’s house or elsewhere. So anytime we went anywhere, I used formula instead of wrangling with my normal bra, my normal shirt and many layers I had on.

Another check on the “things that didn’t help my nursing experience” list.

The next time, I really want nursing to work. I will purchase the correct bra, the correct camisoles, and easy to access shirts (button-ups!! Nothing that has to go over my head!) so I can have a better chance at making this work.

-Use a Moby wrap

Ok, my incredibly vain confession.. I knew about Moby wraps but I refused to use one because I thought that was what hippie Moms did, and I didn’t want to be a Hippie Mom or have others think I was.

Then my good friend Jesica introduced me to the Moby wrap this summer.. she used one on her son and claimed it saved her life and sanity many times.

The Moby wraps your baby snug, and distributes the weight so your back doesn’t ache (much like I found traditional front-packs to do)… and get this! YOU ARE HANDS FREE!!!

I wore Austin around CONSTANTLY in his front pack, but it hurt my back and he wasn’t that “snug” in there so he’d get fussy or I’d have to still hold him up and support him as I moved around. I didn’t like it at all.

So I was an idiot. My vanity kept me from a baby wearing option that was comfortable, easy, and I could have made real food, or did my hair and felt more human.. oh the possibilities!! You bet your britches I will use a Moby with baby #2.

Oh hindsight…. You truly are 20/20… 

My Child is a Seagull

He totally is.

Specifically the seagull from Finding Nemo.

You remember the one:

Cute.. but LOUD and the minute they get possession of anything it turns into this:

Yep, the "mine" phase has hit Austin big-time.

I blame it on another kid in his class who started saying "mine" about a month ago.. none of the kids were saying it, then suddenly they all started following suit.

Mine!

Mine!

Mine!

Mine!

Miiiiiinnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

Example 1- driving in the car home yesterday. We are both quiet, Austin is gazing out the window, then suddenly he looks at me, holds his toy truck up and goes "MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!!!!!!!"

Um. Ok.. wasn't trying to take it from you, but thanks for the info.

Example 2- dropping Austin off this morning. He runs over to the slide, climbs up and yells "MINE!" as a little girl tries to join him. A lecture on how it is not his, and its everyone's and he needs to take turns follows.

Example 3- Austin playing with Henry the other night. Flat out steals Henry's skunk toy out of his mouth, holds it to him and says "MINE!" and then throws a hissy fit when we take it from him and tell him it's Henry's. You actually WANT the smelly dog-drool covered skunk that bad, kid??

Sigh.

I knew this day would come, but damn. I'm already tired of hearing "MINE MINE MINE!!!!" about everything that is in Austin's hand, in the same room with him, or in his sight radius.

Unless its food he doesn't like. Then he's happy to mush it up and hand it back to me.

Kids.