Monday Mindless Musings

I used to do random posts on Mondays on my old blog all the time, and one day I was looking back at all of them and realized how fun it was to see my random thoughts in those moments of time… so I’m doing it again! Hopefully I can keep up and post every Monday…

My Monday Mindless Musings..

-It’s a little sad and embarrassing at how excited I am to watch The Bachelor tonight. After 17 seasons, the damn show finally sucked me in! I’ve never watched a full season before, and my god! It’s so ridiculous and dramatic… but oh so highly entertaining!!!

-Neal is making me dinner tonight… I’m trying to not “help” him (ie: take control and cook dinner myself) because I really do want the break, and he is being very sweet… but I’m just kinda sorta totally a control freak when it comes to my, I mean our, kitchen.

-I wish it would just STOP RAINING ALREADY. For the love Oregon!!!! For the love. Let it go!!!!

-My birthday is on Wednesday. And I’m not really that thrilled.. not only with the age (ugh) but it’s going to be a very demanding day at work (double ugh). Remember when bdays were all about party hats and candy? Now I’d give my right arm to take a nap and sit in total silence for 10 mins. How life has changed..

-I have new plans to eat healthier (which I’ll share soon!) but ate 2 Girl Scout cookies and a cupcake today. Epic fail.

-Shopping with my child is an aerobic workout (full post to come on our adventures)

-I just saw a recipe online for Cream of Cabbage soup. Does that NOT sound utterly disgusting to anyone else but me????? Gross.

-Is today over yet?

-Henry is getting fat… I think he tips the scales at a whopping 6lbs now.. Toddler dropping food= porky puppy

-I can’t get over the Cream of Cabbage soup thing. Slippery, creamy cabbage <shudder>

-ok, so I ate 2 Girl Scout cookies, a cupcake AND a chocolate peanut butter bar thingy. You got me.. I suck at dieting. 

Hi! I Just Met You.. But I Love You!!!

I have the friendliest kid in the world.

Seriously, I do.

I’ve never seen any other kid like him before.

Most people see babies or toddlers and approach them cautiously with “hi there, honey… how are you?” 

Speaking in a soft voice, trying to not scare the kid because the normal response is for that baby or toddler to hide behind their parent, or bury their face in their Mom’s shoulder and be shy.

Right?? 

Isn't that what most people expect?

Or for the baby or toddler to fuss and cry and reach for their parent when they are handed over to other people and have major “stranger danger.”

Well, my kid is so opposite of all this that people don’t know how the heck to react to him.

When I drop him off at school in the morning, he plays as I fill out his daily form and as soon as another Dad or Mom walks into the room to drop off their kid, Austin walks over to them, waving, and promptly asks to be picked up, hugs their legs, or offers them the toy he is holding.

We get reactions along the lines of

“Oh! Well, HELLO there to you too buddy!”

“aren’t YOU friendly????”

Or there is just plain bewildered looks from these parents when he does this and they look at me like “ummm help????.. your kid is clinging to my leg.”

What can I say?

He’s a lover.

He LOVES people… oh man.. take him anywhere and he just waves and waves the whole time, and holds his arms out to any old stranger, wanting a hug.

They started calling him the Classroom Greeter at daycare because every adult that walks in gets some Austin love.

other parents

other teachers

the director

the cook

everybody

Then there was the time I brought him over to my office for a chili cook-off lunch we were having.

I had to explain to my Vice President that I had a very friendly kid after Austin insisted on sitting on his lap, giving him a hug and then eating some of his cornbread.

Thankfully, he didn’t mind and thought Austin was pretty adorable.

Well, of course he's adorable!. Look at his Mom!

Wanna give me a raise now, Mr. V.P??? Since my kiddo was a great ambassador of “How Jessica Is a Great Person Who Is Raising Sweet Children, Therefore Worthy of More Money?”

Ha.

While I love this independent spirit, and how he makes so many people laugh and smile, I find myself apologizing for his behavior because not everyone is too keen on a baby clinging to their legs and burying his head between them, sharing his love and snot.

I don’t know how we are ever going to treat this kid about real Stranger Danger because to him, the world is full of people who want to play with him and feed him cornbread.

Snip! Snip! Goes the Baby Hair!

My Mom will probably be upset with me, but we got Austin's hair cut for the first time a few weeks ago!

She thinks babies are cute with long hair.. which I completely agree.... when the baby in question has sweet curls or some other "hair style" looking hair.

My child had a legitimate bird's nest on his head.

I had to shoo away some finches from nesting in there one day, for real.

Here is the mess he was sporting before:

Wings over his ears, a mullet in the back, a swoop in the front.. the kid needed help!!

So off we went to my dear friend Jenny's, who is my hair stylist and has been my friend since I was 3 years old!

I got my hair did at the same time, so pardon my dye processing:

He was better than I expected Mr. Wiggly-Pants to be, thanks to the steady stream of graham crackers we kept feeding him to keep him occupied!!

It was an exhausting day for him (one of his first life lessons.. its hard being beautiful.. ha!) and we had a very sleepy little man on the way home!

He suddenly looks like a real little kid now.. not a baby. That part of getting his haircut was sad, for sure... but now I don't have to worry about him spontaneously taking flight because of those major ear wings he was sporting!

Lock up your daughters everyone... handsome little man is on the loose!!

Party Like a 1 Year Old!

A little recap of Austin's three-day birthday celebration!

Yep, three days... I'm already conditioning him to believe that birthday celebrations should last at least a few days, if not a week.

His future girlfriends better step up to the plate.

The first celebration was on his actual birthday, which was a Thursday. Sadly, it was a typical day of work for Neal and I, but that night we had balloons for him, and he got his first bite of cake.

Needless to say, he didn't dislike the cake in any way

He was a polite little monkey though, and smeared all over my face... I mean shared his cake with Mommy.

That Saturday we had a party at our house for family. I went with a baseball theme (is anyone surprised??) and had a hot dog and pretzel bar, and baseball cupcakes.

With his Great Grandmas Darlene and Sharon

Watching some TV with Grandpa!

A basketball hoop for Neal! I mean for Austin! Learning to dunk.

Prezzies, cupcakes, and a whole year of the Birthday Boy

Auntie Lori brought balloons!!!

Me and my barnacle. I mean, my baby who lately only wants to be held by me. 

Our little family

He knew just what to do with the candle... lick that frosting off!

Mmmm.. dig in!

We've got a cake lover here!

Hanging with Poppa

After all the party excitement and once the families left, Austin passed out for an epic over 3-hour nap. Sugar crash, over-excitement... it was awesome since I was glued to the couch and couldn't get up.

Since we are crazy, we did it all over the next day! This time we had a party with our friends at a local pizza parlor (genius by the way..they do all the clean-up). I for some reason got almost no pics of this party. I think I was too busy talking and having a relationship with my club sandwich.

Balloons!

Sweet Barrett, Austin's BFF

Me and my cute barnacle again... 

Our friends are awesome.. so many came to celebrate his bday! Maybe because we provided beer?

Cake again???

I'll eat it if I must

Hmm... think they'd let me have a beer to wash this down?

Is that kid playing with my toy???? What the heck!

My bestie Valerie and her family came up for his party on Sunday too, which was an awesome treat! I miss this girlie a lot! So I had to throw in the cute pic of us from that day.

I must say though... two parties in two days was EXHAUSTING. I collapsed after they were all said and done and I swear I didn't recover for about a week.

Austin better get a girlfriend real quick so she can take over all this party planning for next year.

Having It All?

The other day one of my dearest friends told me she is in awe of me because I work full time and have a baby.

After I was done laughing hysterically at the thought that anyone would be in awe of me, and thanked her for thinking that… I started thinking…

How the hell do I do it?

I honestly don’t know, and sometimes I really (like for real) lose my mind at the pressure of it all and have a break-down. Much to Neal’s amusement, as he has to deal with hysterical, arms-waving, crying me.

Have I mentioned my husband is THE most patient person EVER?

I digress. Anyways… that stupid American woman’s dream of “having it all”. We’ve all heard it stated many times, and apparently I am living it. To some degree. I guess. I mean, technically.. since I think having a career, a family and a social life is considered in these regards as “having it all.”

“It all” kinda sucks sometimes, to be honest.

I put in a solid 40-45 hours a week… making big decisions that affect thousands of people across the country and their workload, handling millions of dollars of company money, and being accountable for every action I choose to take or not take.

I have a 1 year old at the daycare next to my office that cries when I drop him off, has to be sent home every time he has a fever (state of Oregon law), has to stay home if he is contagious in anyway, and causes me to get a phone call anytime he’s having a hard time, not feeling great, gets hurt, or needs help from me in any way.

And off I run to daycare…. My emails and orders be damned at the moment. But I have to eventually go back to them, tear my mind away from my baby and how he might be doing, to focus on the responsibilities put before me. To say my brain is tired after each and every day because of the different directions my thoughts are pulled is an understatement.

Then we have the commute home. A (usually, most of the time) cranky baby. Wailing in his carseat, wanting out.. reaching for me and struggling against his carseat straps. All I want is to decompress for a bit, deal with traffic and get us home safely yet my mind is pulled to the backseat and figuring out how to keep my eyes on the road yet comfort my baby at the same time.

Home includes making dinner, picking up, doing dishes, playing with Austin, comforting Austin, trying to have a social life and see friends, run the household, connect with my husband and if I’m lucky, sit down for a solid 30 mins to relax. Which doesn’t happen often.

I do somehow juggle it… I manage to make it through each day alive. They haven’t fired me, Austin is happy and thriving, and my marriage is good and intact. But it’s exhausting. All of it. Every minute of my day, of my life- is exhausting. Something is always on my mind, whether it be my kid, my husband, my house, my bills, my job, my commute, my endless to-do list of errands.... something. I’m always wondering how I can do things better, be more efficient... be a better mom, a better wife, a better employee.

So yeah, I break down. I cry at my desk. I cry at home. I cry alone at night sometimes. I just have to let it all out.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t “have it all.” I wish I could be a stay at home Mom and just focus on my family… or work part time and feel like there was more of a balance, or be just a career girl and kick butt.

I’m not asking for pity, but it’s hard to be in my shoes. Not a single one of my Mom friends do what I do. I am the only full-time working, kid in daycare full-time Mom. I envy my friends sometimes… their part-time jobs, or no jobs, or family-as-daycare that don’t make them take their baby home at every sign of a slight fever. Or charge you as much as a mortgage every month. 

Sometimes I'm just down-right jealous because their situations seems so much easier than my mine.

Try explaining to your boss for the 15^th time in a row that you have to leave work again because of a sick baby, and sorry to miss that big meeting, but I’ll try and work from home for a while tonight…

Sigh.

Its a challenge everyday, and some days I feel successful at juggling it all, and some days I feel like I failed. But I guess that is life, and you just keep on... keeping on. 

Other Moms... how do you balance it all??