The Heartache Moments

Parenting is full of them... in different capacities... am I right?

Recently I've been experiencing heartaches that I knew when we had Austin would happen someday... but even when that someday arrives, it's not the easiest to handle.

Glo Photography

The Acceptance Heartache.

Austin has always been an extroverted, bombastic, fill-up-the-room type kid. He's a natural leader, other kids follow him around, shadow him and want to be around him. He's been like this since he was a baby (even at 9 months old his teachers would tell me the other babies would crawl around following him)... so I got really used to that being his personality and his place in the world.

Well recently we've started activities for him (swimming) and he's moved up into a pre-school class at school with older kids (all of them are 4 already, some getting close to 5)... and things have shifted a bit.

One of the times I took Austin to swim class, there was a few minutes before class, and two older boys (about 5, maybe 6 years old) were hanging on the bars that separate the bleachers and the pool area. Austin went up to them and shyly asked "can I play wif you?" and the boys glanced at him.. and just went back to doing their thing and ignoring him.

Austin kept just kinda looking at them... wanting to be involved with them... and my heart hurt.

Those boys didn't do anything wrong. They weren't mean... they just saw a younger boy and thought "nah...." totally normal kid behavior.

But right then and there, I realized that childhood for everyone is hard. Everyone wants to be accepted, and even my popular, extroverted kid is going to run into times where he isn't in the "in" crowd, or included in things.

How do you teach them that it's ok.. that life goes on, and that they are awesome just as they are whether everyone involves them or not?

Again, just this morning I had another moment... I dropped Austin off in his room and he went up to a kid playing with trains and said "hi (name).. can I play wif you??" The kid looked right at him and said "no" and turned his back on Austin.

Ok.... so that kid was a little rude, and Austin's face was a bit sad and dejected.

It sucks because you want to be like "what the hell is wrong with you kid? Why are you so cool?? Let Austin play with you and stop being an asshole!!!" but unfortunately that type of behavior is frowned upon. My head was screaming that though.

So I gave Austin a hug and a kiss and showed him some other things that looked really fun to play with.

It's going to be SO HARD to watch my boys grow up and have to deal with... well, life. I know this will happen, I know it happens to everyone but it still hurts. I still ache with the desire to have my kids be accepted by others and it breaks my heart that they will experience pain in social situations like that. I know it's normal... I went through it, and I survived relatively unscathed.. but still. You always want different and better for your own kids.

I'm finding parenting to be a fine line between wanting to protect your kid because you love them and you don't want to see them be sad or left out... and trying to teach them that it's ok, and to get a little bit of a tough skin about things like that.

Sigh... it's going to be a long childhood (for me).

The Great Pumpkin Spectacle

Go to the pumpkin patch they said... it would be fun they said....

Last year we went to a local pumpkin patch with our friends Bree and Chino and their little girl and we wanted to repeat that this year.

Well, I had to go and try and a cooler and better pumpkin patch than what we went to last year.. and heard about this place called Bauman's from some friends who had been there.

"Let's go here!!!" I said.. ."so much for the kids to do!! It looks awesome!"

So on a Sunday afternoon we headed out.

The first clue should have been the 5 acres of land they had roped off just for parking. And that fact that the whole thing was packed with cars.

The second clue should have been that they charged to get in, there was a program with a map of the grounds. A map??? Like it was so big you needed a map??

Ok, so this wasn't a pumpkin patch. Apparently it was a HARVEST FESTIVAL complete with a DJ, karaoke, ride bracelets and lines that stretched around buildings multiple times.

GRRRRREEEEAAAATTTTTTT.....

I took this picture just to show the parking. This is about ONE FOURTH of the parking area. Packed beyond packed with cars

We bought Austin a ride bracelet so he could do all the slides and swings and what-not. Unfortunately... half the things he could do had lines with 30-40 minute waits.. and that wasn't going to work out with a squirmy Owen, or our Bree and Chino who had their newborn with them... so we ran from one thing to another, trying to find short lines for Austin and Bree and Chino's oldest kiddo Guiliana to do.

Austin got to do the bug train, and they both did the big slide.

Owen, like usual.. was quite concerned about things

Big pumpkin slide

We didn't do a hayride because the line was so long it disappeared into oblivion... we didn't get food because where was it even located??? Oh there, behind that mob of people, just to the left of the Disneyland-long line for the bouncy house.

We spent over 2 hours there and didn't even get to do much. Most of the time was getting from ride to ride, standing in line, or trying to fight through the crowds.

We managed a few things though... a tee-pee, a family picture..

We tried to walk to get a pumpkin.. but a lot of them were rotting on the bottom or sides, and then we saw the line to pay for the pumpkins was.. you guessed it... at least 30 mins of a wait.

Forget it.

We looked at some pumpkins but then admitted pumpkin patch defeat and went home.

Insane... and never again!!!!

Project 857- October 17

Today was a really special treat.. I got to spend time with Monique!

For being one of my closest friends, and a co-worker to boot, I do not get to spend enough time with this girl! We made plans to go to lunch and then to the Portland Aquarium.

I took just Austin along for the day... 1) because Owen is too little to enjoy what we had planned, and he is still a bit of a hassle at restaurants and such and 2) I am really trying to carve out one-on-one time with each kiddo. Austin spent all summer with just Neal and our bond suffered a bit. He and I really needed some just "Mommy and me" time.

Austin kept calling Liliana "Eliana" or "Elle" all day.. and every time Monique called me "Jess" he said "No, her name is Jessica. She's my mom."

We tried to explain nicknames to him but I think it went right over his head.

We took the kids to lunch and Austin actually ate! And sat in his chair! Almost 4 years after he's born and we can finally take him places. Ha.

After lunch we headed to the Aquarium.

So.. my thoughts on the Aquarium. It was fun to go check out, but pretty expensive to get in for what is was (almost $30 for just me and Austin) and anyone over the age of 6 would probably think it's pretty lame.

Our kids liked it though since they are little and don't know any better yet.

A lot of the displays were set up like tide pools, so it was very hands on. Austin refused to touch an anemone after I said it was sticky, but he had no problem touching the huge lizard.

There was a huge pool full of sting rays (or manta rays, I'm not sure) that you could buy little bits of fish to feed.

I didn't get any pictures because I was too much on high alert around those suckers.

They were AGGRESSIVE.

One JUMPED out of the water right near me... if they caught smell that you had food they all ganged up on you and poked their heads out of the water... flapping their wings and mouths at you..

Austin fed them one little piece of fish, wasn't too thrilled with how aggressive they were and gave the cup of fish to me to finish feeding them. You were supposed to hold the fish under the water and let the ray come up to you and take it from your fingers.

Screw that.

I dumped the cup of fish in the tank and moved on.

In much tamer exhibits there was a small shark, koi fish, ducks (!!!) and lots of tanks of Nemo fish, sea horses, etc..

Feeding the koi was much more our style.

They also had a big aviary where you could go in and feed the birds (I LOVE birds!!!) so I was all about that.

Austin started off thinking it was pretty fun.

Then they started landing on his head and he was not ok with that.. he freaked out a bit and wanted out of the aviary.

Me on the other hand...

The aquarium even had a girl dressed like a mermaid sitting on the rocks.. all in all, pretty fun but definitely more appealing to very small kids.

After our adventure we headed home and Poppa, Auntie Lori and Uncle Ricky came over to watch the Cubs game. I made a big pot of chili and some brownies.

Neal got stuck at the kid's table.

Owen loves to do "clinky" (give cheers) so he did clinky with Poppa and with me and couldn't have been more pleased with himself.

Despite our best cheering ju-ju.... the Cubs lost that night. And now they are out of the running to go to the World Series. Sad. Better luck next year Cubbies!

Life Lately

These posts have become my favorite.. I love having a place to dump all my random pictures, and when I look back at them it's fun to see all the random stuff going on in our lives.

So here is what has been going on the last few weeks...

-Owen has become really interested in my phone when I take pictures. He's starting to "get" it and instead of sitting or standing still for a picture, he'll see me trying to take one and immediately come around to see what I'm seeing on the screen. What I've gotten of him lately is either blurry, or in selfie-form since he's checking out the other side.

Sorry you have to look at this bad picture of me... but this is Owen being so curious about this camera thing!!!

-Owen has also developed an obsession/curiosity with faces... he is always touching and reaching and grabbing... 

Ooh... brudder's teeth!!!

-You know how adults always tell you that the best toys for kids are the things that aren't toys at all? Like how we all grew up playing with spatulas and Tupperware. It's so true. My boys' favorite toys are: fly swatters, oven mitts, pans, cooking utensils, and the couch pillows. That's all they want to play with, I swear. 

Pillow fights! Down goes the baby... 

-Speaking of "down goes the baby" we have to really focus on getting Austin to show compassion. Is compassion inherent, or learned? I feel like in boys, it has to be learned. Girls seem to have it naturally but boys... well if they knock down little brother and make him cry... well, sucks to be him. They shrug and move on. So there are a lot of talks, arguments and "you need to go see if your brother is ok and give him a hug and check on him" going on in our house lately. 

-Austin is just such a "boy" and it amazes me that I made him. He's into bamming toy cars into other toy cars or other things... makes up stories about dragons eating the animals on Old McDonald's farm, sticks toy swords in the waistband of his shorts and wants to go fight the bad guys, told his little friend Emma that she was a princess and he was going to protect her (with said toy sword in the waistband of his pants) and is forever playing in the dirt. Yet... he loves the show Princess Sofia, thinks Barbies are cool, puts tiaras on his head at school for dress-up and loves to play house. He's awesome. 

- Austin has started picking out all his own clothes for the day. We used to present him with options but decided to just put a bar low enough in his closet so that he could grab what he wanted to wear. It's funny because I wake him up, tell him to grab clothes and come downstairs. More often than not, down comes this little kid, buck naked, clutching his clothes for the day. He takes off his jammies and underwear in his room then comes downstairs to get dressed. We've had a eclectic array of outfits... red mesh shorts paired with a Beavers jersey and orange knee socks... red striped pants paired with a blue striped polo shirt... and Neal's old elementary school shirt that he kept all these years and found it's way into Austin's closet. 

The shirt reads "Tualatin Elementary- Class of 2001"

- Tensions have been high in our house lately... the Cubs are in the NLCS (that's National League Championship Series... National League because their pitchers take turns at bat, while the teams in the American League don't have the pitchers take turns at bat... ok, I digress from the baseball soapbox)... and the boys just happen to be SLIGHT Cubs fans. They have to win Game 4 tonight to stay afloat! Go Cubs Go!

- The hot seat in our house lately is the kid's armchair... battles have ensued... tears have been cried... pushing and shoving... all for the coveted seat. We probably should just buy a second.. but if we do, how much you want to bet they will still fight over this one? Whoever is in the chair.. the other one wants in. 

-No thanks to whatever genes he got from me... Austin has turned into a pretty good little artist. I can't even draw a decent stick figure, but here is Austin's drawing of a bike.. I'm biased, but not bad for a 3 year old! I'm surprised he drew this in purple because 99% of his drawings from school are in brown crayon. Seriously. It's his go-to color for some reason. He must have felt a wild streak this day and decided to deviate from his norm. Ha. 

- Almost 15 months old.. and this kid is just now getting another tooth. Hello teeth... any day now!!! We are over the drooling and crankiness!!!! Finally another bottom tooth has broken through the surface. In the meantime, Owen has wandered around, contemplating life and why his teeth are so late to the party... 

Project 857- October 10

Well this Saturday didn't go exactly as planned but turned out pretty good...

Our original plan was for me and the boys to go down to my parents to get out of the house while Neal and his friend Chad ripped up an area of carpet in the front entrance and replaced it with hardwood.

Chad wasn't able to help all weekend long to do the floor, so that project got put on the back burner. Since the kids and I didn't need to get out of the house anymore, I decided to stay up here and get some things done. Neal still had his friend Chad and another friend Ronnie coming over for just the day to do a garage project instead.

I know that my Mom always wants to see Austin though, and vice versa.... so he went down there for the weekend still.

So Saturday morning Owen and I helped make the boys breakfast before they started their project.

Owen sampled all the goodies.

After the yummy breakfast burritos (Owen by the way insisted on a bite of mine, that had hot sauce on it.. and it didn't phase him. Any food is good food for this kid) the boys got to work in the garage. 

The previous owner had a tall work bench/storage thingy in the garage that was too wide for us to park our cars in the garage. So they tore it down and rebuilt it with more shelves and narrower. 

Owen and I did laundry and cleaned the house inside, and looked out the window into the neighbors yard.. #creeper

Please notice what is in his hand... the remote for the window AC unit. Funny story about that later.. 

We ran errands and then just played inside because it was rainy. It's nice to get to spend one-on-one time with Owen.. that is hard to come by when you have two crazies in the house. 

Blurry and Busy are his middle names....

After the boys were done with the garage project Owen he was more than happy to help Daddy with his diaper change.. by taking out all the wipes. 

We had a quiet evening of watching football... it's hard to tell in this pic, but Owen was sitting and clapping for the game on TV!

So I promised a funny story... so Neal and I joke that our house is haunted (more on that to come in another post maybe.. because it might be...) anyways... at one point of the day I noticed our bedroom door was closed, so I opened it and the AC was on full blast in our room. Weird. It was pretty cool out, so why turn that on? The window was open too. I went out in the garage and asked Neal if he turned it on. He said no, he opened the window for fresh air and that must have been what blew our bedroom door closed, but he didn't turn on the AC. 

So how did the AC unit get turned on???? I was a little creeped out about that.. until a few days later when I was looking through pictures and noticed Owen holding the remote in his hand. So there is out "ghost...." he must have hit the delay button on it so it didn't turn on right away when he and I were in the room. It turned on later and became our "haunting." 

Ha. 

Stinker.