Owen's Birth Story- Part 2

***Same disclaimer as with Austin's birth story... retelling the birth of a baby requires details and the use of words like cervix and dilation and so on and so forth. Don't blame me, it's science. I don't make the rules..***

Tuesday, August 12th...

We woke up in the hospital at about 6:00am... well, I woke up anyways and woke Neal up by saying "hey, are you awake??"

I was ready to get the ball rolling!!

The normal hospital stuff all got under way... IV was put in, vitals were taken, monitors on my belly to monitor my contractions and Owen's heartbeat were strapped on... awesome mesh granny-style hospital panties put on.

Check, check, and check. I was looking good in those panties and hospital gown, let me tell ya.

My Doctor came in a little after 7am to get my induction started... and told me to eat breakfast (mmmm flavorless hospital soggy pancakes.... )

Bulb thingy full of saline (same technique we did with Austin) inserted to get me to dilate to 3cm, and we were off!

The morning passed with some pain, for sure. I had a couple of hours of pretty intense contractions and my awesome husband rubbed my back.

morning contractions looked promising!!

And then for some reason.. the pain subsided around 10:00am and we walked the maternity ward a few times, I paced around in the room quite a bit, laid in the bed for an enternity to try and get progress to come back.

This labor was so different already than Austin's... Austin's was fast and furious and I was in terrible pain as soon as I was induced and BOOM he was born.

Owen... well, sweet little Owen was in less than a rush.

When Dr. B came in to check me at noon, I hadn't had a contraction or any pain in several hours. Nice, since I wasn't in pain.... but not exactly promising when the point of the day was to get a baby out of me.

I told Dr. B that I wasn't in pain, so there wasn't much he could do.. the bulb thingy needed to do it's job, so we had to keep waiting.

Right after Dr. B left, I went to the bathroom... and lo and behold.. there was the bulb! It fell out of me because it had done it's job and got me to 3cm dilated.

I yelled through the door to Neal to tell them the bulb fell out and my nurse went out of the room to try and catch Dr. B in the hallway... he said to start me on pitocin.

Ho boy.

I braced myself for the worst. As soon as I got pitocin with Austin I was pretty much sick with pain instantly and could barely catch my breath between contractions... so I was expecting the same experience this time.

They started me at the lowest dose- .5- and we waited.

Nothing.

They upped me to a dose 1... and we waited.

Nothing.

We were upped to a dose of 2. Then 4. Then 5. Then 6.

I kid you not.... nothing.

No pain. No contractions. Nothing.

It was almost 4:00pm at this point and my Mom had texted me wanting to know when they should head up to the hospital to meet Owen.

Umm..... don't pack your bags quite yet, Mom.

I called her and told her that I was not progressing quickly, if at all, and that Owen wasn't going to be born anytime soon. With the 2 hour drive from Springfield, and Austin's bedtime and all that, it wasn't going to make sense for them to come up to see us at all that day.

I think everyone... our families, the nurses, my friends, and even Neal and I, expected this labor to go really fast since Austin came fast and this was my second pregnancy.

Lesson #1 learned in "Each Child is Different"

So here we are at 5:30pm.

Still no pain or contractions, and Dr. B came in with Dr. Kelly who would be working the night shift to get us all introduced.

Dr. Kelly checked me and I was (surprise!!!) still at only 3cm.

WHAT. THE. CRAP.

10 hours of labor so far and I'm at 3???? That's it???? Oh help me lord this was going to be a long process.

Dr. Kelly wanted to break my water to get things going a bit more, so we agreed.

I also got my pitocin increased to a dose 7... and... wait for it...within about 15 mins...

I STARTED TO GET CONTRACTIONS!

I forgot to mention Kenzie came to visit at this point because she was a few minutes away at her gym... thank you Kenz for helping me pass some time as we waited for things to happen!!

So. Here we are, starting to have contractions. I was ready. After all day of pretty much nothing, I really wanted this kid out.

Every nurse I had all day, plus both Doctors B and Kelly all advised me to not wait for an epidural if I wanted one. Since this was my second pregnancy, they had seen too many women try and "wait a bit longer" and then dilate way too fast and miss their window for getting an epidural.

I went for a little over an hour with contractions just to make sure I was really ready to be numb and stuck in my bed. When I was to the point where I had to squeeze the crap out of Neal's hand, close my eyes and really breathe through the pain, I knew it was time.

They called the anesthesiologist and I had Neal help me go to the bathroom before he arrived... and that's when I completely lost it.

I started sobbing in the bathroom, and shaking... telling Neal "I don't want to do this. I don't want to, these scare me. I don't like epidurals, I don't want to..."

He was amazing and tried to soothe me, but my sobbing turned into huge, body-wracking shaking with fat tears running down my face as I was sitting up and getting prepped for the epidural.. and it got to the point where my nurse had to check my mental state by asking me what my name was, if I knew what was being done to me and if I consented to it.

That's me... the crazy lady sobbing uncontrollably.

I have NO idea why I responded like that. I had an epidural with Austin and I knew they worked, they don't leave people paralyzed, and I would feel so much better after I got one... I just... lost it and couldn't stop shaking.

I'm blaming stress, hormones, and just being tired.

After the epidural was in, I calmed down and the medicine started working.

We passed several more hours like this.. me watching The Food Network (why I tortured myself with images of food when I hadn't eaten in over 12 hours I don't know....) and taking little cat naps.

Around 10:00pm my nurse checked me and I was at almost 6cm dilated. Sigh... things were still progressing slowly... very slowly.

So she went and got this peanut-shaped yoga ball thing and told me it was a miracle worker for getting your pelvis to open up and baby to drop.

So that was put between my legs as I laid in my bed and we passed another hour...

I was checked again at 11:15pm because I was starting to feel some pain and pressure in my cervix.... and the magic words!!!!!!!

"Oh! His head is RIGHT THERE!!!!"

YES!!!!!

Thank you peanut ball thing... I was fully dilated, Owen was in my birth canal and it was time!!!

People started coming in, getting the doctor's tools ready, baby station table ready, they had to wake Dr. Kelly up from sleeping to come in and I was prepped to push.

I still wasn't feeling much pain or pressure, so I had to ask when I should push... the nurse told me to just start and take deep breaths in between... so I started...

And I pushed for 7 mins.

I know, I know.. hate me if you must. Labor the second time around... little bit easier for sure.

Right before Owen came out though, his heart rate dropped severely because he was coming out wrong. Instead of the back of his head presenting itself first, he had his head tilted back and his forehead was coming out first... and it was putting him in distress.

Dr. Kelly was not thrilled to do so, but she gave me an episiotomy to help get the little guy out, so his heart rate didn't continue to drop. She simply stated "we've got to get him out... now."

On the last push out came this tiny (oh so tiny!!!!) perfect, beautiful little creature... he was put straight on my chest and the flood of ugly-crying-sobbing came out of me.

I couldn't stop kissing his little face and thanking God for another gorgeous little baby... how I ever got so lucky, I'll never know.

They had us do skin-to-skin for awhile before they took him to weigh him and I was shocked at HOW tiny he was.

Just 6lbs, 5oz and 19" long. Another reason I didn't have to push long.. he was a little dink!

It was a long day, 16 hours of labor, plenty of tears, more Food Network shows than Neal would care to watch in a day... but our family is complete.

My last baby..... the one that will fill my heart, and fill our home and change all of our lives yet again.

Little Owen.. my sweet little piglet... welcome to our family... we couldn't love you more.

We did it!

Daddy's first diaper duty

Welcome Owen Kyle Glynn!!!

My sweet peanut

Listening carefully to Daddy talk about how to hold baby brother gently

Little brother doesn't seem so bad!!

Heading home.. let the madness begin!!

Owen's Birth Story- Part 1

Our little peanut has arrived!

I am officially a mother of 2 children... the immensity of that responsibility and thought haven't even sunk in yet, but I do know that I feel happy and complete.... and oh so very, very blessed.

The first part of Owen's birth story starts on Monday morning at 8:30 am...

My 38 week doctor appointment.

The end of the road... right before my 38 week appointment

Neal went with me, and we dropped Austin off at daycare and went and got a coffee before my appointment. I told Neal I was feeling a bit off and nauseous that morning, but didn't think too much of it.

We met with the doctor and all was good... no protein in the urine, good blood pressure, good weight gain... but then he measured me.

I measured 36"... and at 38 weeks pregnant, I shouldn't have been that small. Unless Owen had dropped. My Dr. checked me and said that Owen was low, but not that low. I wasn't dilated at all, and my cervix was still at 0%... it hadn't thinned at all. So him dropping was probably not the cause of my small belly.

So the other cause of measuring small would be low amniotic fluid. My Dr. was getting me scheduled to have an ultrasound at my following week appointment to check my fluid level and mentioned I should call if I noticed Owen's movements declining.

Just as he was about to leave, I piped up "well, he already has stopped moving a lot. Yesterday he didn't move at all."

So that alarmed Dr. B a bit and he decided to give me an ultrasound right then. He wheeled in the machine, took a look around and declared (in his matter of fact way)- "yep- you have no fluid in there. You're done... we'll need to induce."

I started laugh-crying and going "you've got to be kidding me. You've GOT to be kidding me????"

How is pregnancy #2 ending the same way??

Both pregnancies ended at exactly 38 weeks to the day, both ended abruptly, both ended with inductions, both ended with complications.

So.... apparently my body doesn't like to be more than 38 weeks EXACTLY pregnant.

I started panicking a bit.. this can't happen yet!!! What about work? I have so much to wrap up... Neal was supposed to help a friend run a football training camp... my maternity leave paperwork wasn't quite settled at work....so much still needed to happen before baby.

Dr. B wanted to hook me up to a NST (non-stress test.. it monitors baby's heart to make sure they aren't in distress in there) for 30 mins.

As he was hooking me up I asked... "So... when are we going to need to induce then?" thinking it would be in a few days or a week or so, like we when we made that decision with Austin.

Dr. B looked at me and smiled and said "today."

WHAT THE HELL??????????????????????????

The NST would determine the course of A) we go over to the hospital that minute and get going (if Owen was in distress) or B) we'd have the day to get ready and we'd go in to induce that night.

The NST came back that Owen was fine, so Dr. B called the hospital and got us scheduled to go in that night.

Ok.

Panic time.

We called our parents and my mom was like "WHAT????"

Um, yeah, my thoughts exactly.

She and my Dad going to be up that night to get Austin to take home with them, so we could not worry about him while we were in the hospital and then have some time to settle at home after, too.

I rushed to work and told my boss what was going on, set up a "do not disturb" message on my email and frantically tried to wrap up 2 weeks of projects in about 5 hours.

I was frantically sweating the whole time.

Neal went home and cleaned, did dishes, changed our sheets (bless him... seriously) and got our house ready.

I felt so bad leaving my job so suddenly... I know things will be fine, but still... to all my co-workers reading this, I'm sorry!!!

I headed home around 2:30pm.. meaning to stay longer but I was starting to not feel well, and was having some pretty good cramping... the thought of "what if my body knows this is the end and I'm actually going into labor??" definitely entered my mind.

I woke Austin up at the tail end of his nap over at daycare and headed home. My parents arrived around 4:30 and we got my hospital bag packed, Austin packed up for Camp Grandma.... and the hospital called and told me they wanted me to check in at 9pm that night, not 8pm like Dr. B stated earlier.

Dang... more time to just try and waste and be anxious.

After Austin and my parents left, I tried to relax... I took a shower, ate some food... Kenzie came over for some moral support and delivered magazines and candy.

Finally it was time to leave. Neal and I headed off and went to his parents' house to drop off the dog and we just hung out there for a bit since they live 5 mins from the hospital.

Beautiful sunset as we headed to the hospital

Since I'm vain, I did my hair over at my in-law's while we waited. The last thing I wanted was my frizzy skanky air-dried hair in all our birth pictures.

Ok...finally time to go to the hospital. We got checked in and settled into our room... and the doctor on duty that night came in to tell us the somewhat bad news...

We would not be getting induced that night.

The hospital was at capacity and they had me check in basically just to secure my spot and room. They were under-staffed and had 4 women that night in active labor. Understandably, their attention and staff needed to focus on the women who were in the middle of giving birth. They didn't want to start my induction and risk a complication arising that they didn't have the staff to help with.

We understood, but were a bit disappointed. That just meant we wouldn't start the induction until the morning, and that would extend labor quite a bit.

But, what could we do..

So they gave me a sleeping pill, said good night and we got to just sleep....

Tuesday was going to be a busy, life-changing day.

January 23rd 2012... The Day Before the Big Day

I realized there are some things I didn't document back in my pregnancy that I think I’d like to remember one day down the road.

For example, how Neal and I spent our last day together before Austin joined our family… so here is our tale..

I left work on Friday, January 21^st with two possible scenarios before me. We were going in the next day for a final non-stress test to check Austin’s heartbeat, and to check my blood for any signs of my liver or kidneys shutting down because of my insane high blood pressure. Remember? At this point I was 140/104… dangerously high!

If the test came back as no good, they were going to admit me and induce me right then and there. If the tests were ok, we were going to stick with my already scheduled induction of Tuesday, January 24^th.

The test came back fine, and the rest of the weekend we spent running errands, cleaning the house, and we went out to dinner by ourselves one last time on Sunday.

So then Monday January 23rd rolls around. The day before the big day. It was ‘go’ time at 10pm that night. How do you spend the day knowing you were going to the hospital that night to get induced? I am not usually a calm person when it comes to nervous situations like this, but oddly enough.. I remember being fairly calm that day.

I told Neal to force me to sleep as long as possible Monday morning so I’d rest up. No popping up at 6am to “get shit done” like I usually do.

He did a good job and I think I lasted in bed until about 8am. I can't help it. I'm not big on sleeping in.

To occupy ourselves we kept busy around the house and rented a movie on On Demand to pass a few hours. We watched The Help and I tried to eat a little lunch. My stomach was nervous, even if I didn't really feel it elsewhere, and I managed some rice and that’s about it.

After the movie we headed out to NW 23^rd area to walk around and waste more time. Seriously… why did they schedule me to be admitted at 10pm???? Couldn't we just get the show on the road already??? Trust me, wasting time until 10pm before a huge life event makes for the longest day EVER.

After wandering NW 23^rd for a bit, we decided on dessert at Papa Hyden’s to celebrate the day. I had coffee too. Which looking back, that was really odd. Really? I needed to add to the fact that I felt a bit jittery? Coffee at 5pm? When I was supposed to check into the hospital and get a decent night’s sleep?

Good decision, Jess. Sheesh.

Anyway… we had several more hours to kill. We went home, packed up our hospital bags and headed back into Tualatin.  Somehow Neal convinced me to stop at Sports Authority so he could wander around and look at sports stuff to his heart’s content. I agreed for some reason, and mostly sat on a bench in the shoe department because my elephant ankles were killing me.

Doo dee doo... don't mind me, just going to have a baby in a few hours.. oh, are those the new Nikes??

Finally we made it to 10pm and we walked into the Family Birth Center at the hospital.

One of my best memories was a sweet nurse at the desk who said “you must be Jessica!” I was the only preggo being admitted that night, so they were expecting me. It was really nice to be welcomed like that. I think I said something really clever like “yep! here to have a baby! Har har.” I mean OBVIOUSLY…

So Austin, if you are reading this (one day) that’s how your folks spent the day before your arrival. Aren’t you so glad you came into such an exciting family???

The Unexpected

Life is all about expecting the unexpected, right?

I think this is never more true than when you are pregnant, give birth, and survive your first week at home with a newborn.

So what, you ask.... are these little unexpected events? Let me tell ya... (and you know me by now.. I hold nothing back!!!)

1. I did not poop on the table giving birth. I totally expected to. I mean, how could you not?? All that pushing.. things are bound to appear. This was one aspect about giving birth that didn't phase me. I know girls who are and/or were terrified about pooping on the table. That was the least of my worries, I just figured it would happen... but it didn't.

2. My IV hurt 100 times worse than the epidural. I was so terrified about the epidural needle going into my back that I would hyperventilate just thinking about it. But seeing the lovely "track mark" bruises up and down both my arms from my veins not cooperating for my IV, and how sore that spot was for days... I'll take the needle I couldn't feel at all in my spine any old day.

3. I didn't yell at Neal. I thought I was going to to much that I started pre-apologizing to him months before Austin's birth... "you know whatever I may say while I'm in labor is totally pain related, right? That I don't mean what may come out of my mouth, right?" I expected to be that lady screaming "YOU DID THIS TO ME YOU BASTARD!!!" and cursing the day I met this evil man who got me pregnant. But... nope. Neal was my rock and my comfort the entire time and totally escaped my wrath.

4. That men are men. No matter what. Even when their post-labor pathetic wives ask them nicely to put the toilet seat down so shuffling to the bathroom would be easier on her poor, wrecked soul... but men are still men. And the toilet seat was always up.

And to think I even let him watch sports in the hospital room...

5. I didn't think we'd get no sleep at night. I know, how stupid could I be, right???? But I read that most babies out-of-womb actions mimic their in-womb actions. Austin always slept through the night. He never moved at night or in the early morning. Ever. And now I've learned not to believe crap that you read.

6. That all the cliches are true. You do forget about the pain of labor quickly, and you do feel this immense bond and love with this little wrinkly creature and you realize you would do anything for him.

7. Baby clothes are adorable.. and a huge pain in the ass. Especially on newborns, and especially on my little dink of a 7lb newborn. Since all the nurses, doctors and lactation ladies suggest it's best for him to nurse skin-to-skin with me, Austin just ends up being unclothed a lot. And don't worry Mom... I do put clothes on him to take him outside.

Cute.. but now I have to get him out of this... 

8. My baby looks nothing like me. At all. He is 100% mini-Neal in every way. Nine months of carrying that baby inside me and I get no credit in the looks department! Even Austin's left ear has the same exact bend in it that Neal's left ear does... So... you are welcome Neal and the whole Glynn family, for cooking you a perfect heir.

9. I didn't expect my whole body to feel like it was hit by a train. Sure, I knew giving birth would be no picnic, but I pushed so hard I pulled my arm muscles (from holding my legs back), pulled something in my back, and popped my sternum or a rib out of whack... something that makes my chest feel like its crushed in. On the bright side, this might get me out of working out for several more weeks...

10. I didn't expect to love something that looked like this... so very much. :-)

Gas bubble or pooping... you make the call!

Sunshine on a Rainy Day- Austin's Birth Story

The world gained a bit of sunshine...

My heart is happy, happy, happy.

Here is how we got there:

And yes, this will give details... that's what happens when you give birth. Your body does things and words like dilation, cervix, and va-jay-jay sometimes must be used. You have been warned.

I was scheduled to be induced on Tuesday, 1/24 at 7am. Since I was 38 weeks and only 1cm dilated, my Dr. wanted me to be admitted Monday night, 1/23 at 10pm to get settled in a get a balloon like thingy (no idea what it was actually called) inserted in my cervix overnight to help me dilate.

We get to the hospital and I'm surprisingly calm, I have no idea how I pulled that off, since I'm usually a bundle of nerves!

Checked in, gown on, on-call Dr. that night came in, checked me, inserted balloon thingy, I got a pain pill and an Ambien and was told to sleep.

Somehow I pulled that off too and got a solid 6 hours in.

Up and at 'em early on Tuesday! The same on-call Dr. and my nurse came in at 5:45 am to check me. To all of our surprise, I had dilated more than the 3cm they had wanted me to! Go cervix! Since I was 3cm+, the Dr. decided to break my water right then, instead of waiting several hours, which is what I was expecting.

Ok, so far..not so bad. Even the water breaking didn't hurt, and since I was so dilated they held off on giving me Pitocin and decided to let my body just do it's thing for a few hours.

Do dee doo... this wasn't so bad. Read some blogs, texted some people, watched some TV.... Ok... contraction! Breathe in..... breathe out.. focus on thing on the wall.. ok... ok.. ok..

Ah. Relax.

This went on for a few hours and then a lovely thing called Pitocin was injected into my veins around 10am.

This is when the shit hit the fan.

I did my best to breathe in slow and exhale slow and all that jazz like the nurse said, but OH HOLY BUCKETS those contractions were getting stronger! I spent an hour laying, sitting, crying, sobbing, gripping Neal, holding Neal, pounding my fist on the bed, moving my legs, kicking my legs, and groaning.. trying to figure out if I was being a wuss and this was nothing... or if I was at the point that I needed help.

Once my contractions were about 1 minute apart and I really had no relief from the pain and I was yet again sobbing, I decided it was time to ask for an epidural.

I was 5cm dilated at this point.

Now, if you remember... I was TERRIFIED BEYOND TERRIFIED of a needle going into my back. I was (somewhat) hoping that I would be in so much pain I wouldn't care if they had to take my left eyeball out to make it go away.. and this "hope" came true.

GIVE ME DRUGS, I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU INJECT THEM I AM ABOUT TO PUKE FROM THE PAIN.

So the anethesiologist did his thing, I held onto Neal and sobbed as I got my epidural.. apologizing the whole time for being a "wuss." By the end of the day Neal was sick of my apologies. What can I say? I'm polite. I apologized for moaning and crying. I apologized for needing help to the bathroom. I apologized for needing a pillow. I was for sure convinced I was the most annoying patient ever.

Pain makes me loopy, apparently.

Anyways, the epidural kicked in and I had about 30 mins of relief, and (thank you Lord!) I could still somewhat wiggle my toes and move my legs. I was not, as I irrationally feared for months, paralyzed by the epidural.

My relief was short-lived when I started to have intense pain just in my right side again with each contraction. My epidural wasn't hitting that spot, so received a bolster shot of pain medicine, and was rolled onto my other side to let gravity flow it into my right side.

Checked again at this point, and I was almost 7cm. I also got my catheter at this point (lovely little thing those are... ugh) and finally felt no pain! I snoozed and relaxed for close to an hour when Neal walked back into the room, looked at the machine and said "whoa. You are having some strong contractions!"

Right at that VERY second, I started feeling pain again... but this time it was very low down in my lady parts, and in my lower back. Ow. Ow. Ow. OW. OW. MOTHER F-ER!!!!!

The nurse decided to check me again before giving my another pain medication bolster and low and behold, stated "holy cow, you have NO cervix girl! His head is really low. It's time to push."

Yep, me and my over-achiever cervix had dilated over 4cm in less than an hour!

It was "go" time.

Anesthesiologist came back in to give me a super strong dose of medicine to get me through the pushing. The nurse told him to make it last for 2 hours, since I shouldn't have to push longer than that.

This is the part I hate. The man made me 100%, totally, completely, my head-does-not-realize-I-have-legs-paralyzed-numb.

As much as it was nice to not feel pain, I did NOT like this feeling, or having to be pulling and thrown around the bed by the nurse and Neal, trying to get me in the stirrups to push.

Trying to fight the urge to try and wiggle my toes only to find out time and time again that I could not will them to move, it was time to push this kid out of me.

The nurse told me when each contraction was coming and had me push for three counts of ten for each contraction. That's a lot of pushing with very little break in between, in case you were wondering.

Thankfully Bambino cooperated and since he was so low down, he crowned after about 30 mins of pushing.

Neal was in awe, standing behind me watching him slowly come further and further down the birth canal, and the nurse told me he had "a ton of hair!" which made all that damn heartburn worth it! My baby was going to have cute baby hair!

At this point the nurse paged my Dr... and we waited and pushed, and waited and pushed.. and finally Dr. B came running (literally, and out of breath) into the room, looked between my legs, said "Oh my god!" and immediately started scrubbing up.

This kid was READY!!!

So Neal, the nurse and Dr. B were excellent cheerleaders and kept me pushing... and low and behold.. what is this???? Pain??? OH GOD THE PAIN WAS COMING BACK! AND I COULD FEEL MY LEGS!!!! I COULD FEEL EVERYTHING!!!

Epidural was wearing off AGAIN!!!!. The way Bambino was inside me also gave my back labor, which I decided hurts slightly less than say.. getting disemboweled or burned alive... and I was DYING.

Screw all decency, I started screaming with every push. I was like those sweaty, screaming, hair tangled women you see give birth in the movies. And to think I actually brought a hair straightener and makeup to the hospital... thinking it would be great to look "nice". Hardy har har.

After every push I'd lay back down and be in so much pain in my back I'd scream some more, writhe around, and pound the bed with my fist.

I remember yelling "someone help my back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" at one point. I mean seriously, help a girl out!!!

The nurse started rubbing my lower back between contractions, and they called in the anthesiologist (I kept that man busy!) to bolster me again, and the minute he came in, Dr. B said "hold it! hold it! hold it!" and told me to give it everything I had, push the pain out of my back... and push.......

Then he grabbed my hands and told me to help bring my baby into the world.

I grabbed Bambino under his arms and help bring him out of my body onto my chest... and an explosion of sobbing came out of me like nothing I've ever experienced before.

Sobbing with 20% pure joy at meeting my baby, and 80% relief that I didn't have to push anymore, thank the Lord!!

I can't describe the following minutes, because there really are no words for what rushes through your mind and your heart as you hold your baby to your chest, but I can say it's a feeling I will never ever forget in my life, and one that will never, ever be able to be topped by anything.

What happened next was a blur... Neal cut Bambino's cord....

I got stitched up... (third-degree tears, thank you very much Bambino! Thank goodness my Dr. is a also a top surgeon!!)

And little dude got weighed, measured, and checked out.

7lbs, 12oz.
21" long
Pink, healthy and grunting like crazy!
This little guy came into the world with a lot to say about things!!

It was all worth it though... every pain, every poke with a needle, every spasm in my back.. I mean just look at him!!!

 Neal and I created life. Beautiful, perfect, fragile life. I could stare at his little face for hours and never get tired of the consuming love I feel for this little dude.

He is all the sunshine I will ever need.

I'm Giving it a Shot...

I ordered this book and got it in the mail the other day:

I really needed this book.

Why? Because I am (potentially) crazy and I want to *try* and have a drug-free birth.

I say “try” because that is exactly what my mind-set is. I am not going into this trying to be a hero and be screaming my lungs out and having my body ripped in half and still deny medical intervention and/or drugs because of my desire to “do it natural”

I’m not THAT crazy…

I just believe that the human body is designed to give birth (hey, women have been doing it since the dawn of time!) and that my body will instinctually know what to do. I just want to let it do what it already knows to do and let Nature take over.

I am also deathly, irrationally, stupidly freaked-the-hell out by epidurals.

Let me explain.  

Something about epidurals just seem unnatural to me. I DO NOT LIKE THE IDEA OF BEING NUMB. DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT… (did I make my point??? Haha)  so here is my Pros and Cons list for trying to do this whole birth thing a la naturale…

PROS

-No epidural means I will be able to get into any position that feels comfortable to me during labor. I can stand, walk around, be on all fours (probably growling too), on my side, bent over the bed, taking a shower.. whatever. That really appeals to me.

-No epidural means nothing will mess with my body’s natural production of pain relievers… oxytocin, adrenaline, and endorphins. The books say these can be just as strong as engineered drugs.

-No epidural means I won’t be completely paranoid and freaked out the entire time, wondering if I’ll ever get sensation back, or if they screwed up and I’ll be paralyzed for life. Yes, I am a horrible worry-wort and I am actually beyond freaked out that they will paralyze me.

-No epidural means no anesthesiologist charge on our final bill. Yes, this is my Scrooge side talking here. It could save us $1,000’s.

CONS

- I could end up with a long labor and not be able to sleep or rest.

-When sensation comes back into your legs and body, you itch really bad.

-Me, needle-phobe of the highest degree, will have to lie for hours knowing there is something stuck into my spine.

-There are risks, though they are rare… including horrible headaches, and being numb up to your neck, and other complications

-I would be stuck on my back as soon as I get the epidural. No moving, no walking, no showers, just lying there.

-Some research has shown babies born to Moms who have epidurals don’t latch on and nurse as easily as babies born under no epidural.

-Epidurals mess with and stop your body’s natural production of pain relievers

-Epidurals can wear off and you still end up feeling pain.

In my opinion, the Pros of doing it drug-free outweigh the Cons and potential complications of having and epidural. 

I am trying to prepare myself as best I can with researching and exercising so that my body can have this baby epidural-free. But like I mentioned before, I am not a hero, nor am I am a hippie-Earth Mother… so if I end up in horrible pain and am willing to give up my right arm for some pain relief, I will ask for it.

It’s just a big struggle for me to be open-minded about epidurals since something is my gut screams “NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” every time I even think about them. I am trying though, because I know my birth experience may come down to really needing one or wanting one.

I'm sure some of you are shaking your head, listing me under your "crazy people" list and thinking I'm too big of weenie to pull off this natural thing.

You may be right.

But... I want to give it a shot. I really do. My Mom had 2 kids with no drugs, and countless other women have too... if they can do it, I'd like to think I can too.

Here's hoping!