The Bachelorette- according to a man

Neal makes me laugh everyday.

That is one of the reasons I fell in mad lurve with him and wanted to marry him and have his babies. I think that humor can get your through anything… so what better way to navigate through life? Plus laughing burns calories.

Anyways… the point of this post is to record the awesome comments my darling husband makes when we watched this season’s The Bachelorette together.

He had no idea I was taking notes….

I hope you are as amused as I was on his take of this overly dramatic show:

-“KISS!!! WHOOSH!!! CRESCENDIO!!!!” (in response the show’s ultra-dramatic musical score during a kissing scene between Emily and Jef)

-“Fantasy suite…. Yeah, let’s do some fantasies.” (this was sung in a overly dramatic tone, which made it all the funnier)

-“ooohhhh super long slow motion kiss!!!! Slurp slurp slurp..” (in response to Arie’s super dragged out over the top slow kissing on Emily)

-“really?? Write your name in the sand all dramatic like? Normal people don’t do that!!!  Gaw-awwdddd! So stupid!!” (in response to a part of the show where Emily wrote in the sand ‘Emily + ??’)

-“I’m Jef. I only have one “f” in my name. I’m so cool.”

-“oh yeah. You WRAP those legs!!! Jef, you’re getting some action bud!!” (in response to Emily running up to Jef in one scene, jumping on him and wrapping her legs around him)

-“No you didn’t you lying sack of lies!!!” (Someone kinda got hooked on the show and started to care, didn’t ya, Neal???)

-“Totally like exactly what she has with all the other guys.” (in response to Jef saying what he and Emily have is “amazing and real”)

-“Look at my fake boooooobbbbsss... they're so faaaaakkkkeeeee.” (also said in a sing-song voice, in response to the multiple chest shots of Emily they showed this season)

Anyone want to come over and watch TV at my house? I promise you will be super entertained. :-)

Dear Friday Letters

Dear Veterans,
Thank you to everyone who has served and who is currently serving our country! We are fortunate to live in a free country, and I'm proud to be an American despite our faults and quirks at times. Your sacrifices to ensure our safety and the safety of generations to come can never be repaid with just a mere "thank you" but please know we appreciate all you do! And thank you to all the Military spouses out there! Your love and support is just as important, and I know your job is not an easy one!

Dear American Horror Story,

I am so glad my darling friend Sarah told me about you! Even Neal has gotten completely hooked. But seriously…. I will never, can never, not-in-your-life-will-I-ever watch you alone or right before I go to bed in an empty house. What is up with the evil thingies in your basement??? And Rubberman??? Holy cow!!! I have never been so highly entertained, intrigued or completely creeped the “F” out all at once.

via

Dear Fall,

Oh I love you so much… the days of clear skies and crisp weather…. Sitting by the fireplace and warming my ever-expanding tushy… and I love lazy Fall Sunday mornings with pumpkin pancakes and crisp apples!!! Thank you for being the best time of year to be happy, cozy and thankful for everything in my life!

Dear Husband,

I’m so glad you are my bestest friend… and you by far are the best person on this planet to watch America’s Funniest Home Videos with! Your side comments and reactions to the videos make me laugh so hard I can’t breathe, I can’t feel my face, and I choke on my water. After long days at work and all the stresses of life, we all need to laugh that hard once and awhile. Don’t ever change. Xoxo

Dear DMV,

Is it really necessary to charge $80 for a little renewal sticker to put on my car? I mean, really? All I have to say to you is “Grrrrrrrrrrr……”

And of course, the Celeb Buzz Letter….

Dear Duggers,

I have watched your show. I think you are very sweet, very wholesome people and I am not one to judge…. But…. A 20^th kid??? Michelle, sweetie… you are 45 and just had a very dangerous pregnancy and gave birth to a 15-weeks-early preemie with your last pregnancy. I know you are just having as many kids as God wants you to have.. but for the sake of your own (and this fetus’) health, I think you can stop now. I think God would understand, honestly.

via

xoxo-
Jess