10 Kinda Weird Things That Become Totally Normal When You Have Kids

Ok, question. 

Is there anything about having kids that ISN'T weird??

I remember having these thoughts of "this is so weird" from the very start in pregnancy... 

"your body makes twice the amount of blood??"

"there's a little penis growing in there?"

"I technically have 4 arms and 4 legs right now." 

It was all so WEIRD. 

Well the fun just continues after the baby is born.. explosive poop, pee flying all over the room.... but at some point some of the weird things become, strangely... NORMAL.

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Eating In Odd Places

 Isn't my hubby cute?? Have breakfast with Owen because he wanted to sit at his little table and didn't want to eat alone. I also find myself eating with the plastic toddler forks (how'd that get in my hand??)

Cooking Naked

 See also- just being naked or near-naked the majority of the time. Baking muffins requires a full strip down of clothing because underwear only provides better mobility.

Medicine In the Produce Basket

 Any parent who's had an illness sweep through the house (teething, flu, Hand-Foot-Mouth) knows that your kid needs medicine like NOW. Don't waste time searching for that shizz in the medicine cabinet, time is of the essence! Keep that stuff within easy reach... next to the spaghetti squash preferably since nobody gonna be eating that anyways. 

Hot Lava All Over Your House

 "Mommy! You can't step dere!!!! Das HOT LAVA!!! You have to step on da trail, see??" Oh yes, because heaven forbid I fall into the abyss that is my living room's hot lava. Hey, wait, where I'm gonna sit with all the couch cushions off the couch???

Oven Mitts As Accessories

 My children are convinced the oven mitts 1) turn them into monkeys because they look like monkey feet and 2) have super hero powers when worn saying 'pew pew!' at the bad guys. Meanwhile I'm pulling dinner out of the oven with a kitchen towel and burning myself.... wondering where the hell my oven mitts went.

TV Forts

 Isn't this how everyone watches TV? Totally normal.. nothing weird over here.. as I throw Austin a little side-eye...

Naked Couches

 Seriously. Don't come over to my house unless you want to sit on the floor. Cushions aren't for sitting, people! They are for forts and "motorcyles" and lava trails and castles and rocket ships... Silly Mommy and Daddy... you thought you were going to get to take a load off?

Playing With Fly Swatters

 If my kids ever get stir-crazy all I have to do is give them a fly swatter. Oh the joy!!! They can extend it and then push it down. Smack balls around. Hunt imaginary bugs. And shove them down my shirt.

Playing Zombie

 Every night when I wash my face I have to leave my mascara streaked and play "zombie" with Austin... I moan and slowly walk toward him and he takes huge delight in zapping me with his Zombie Zapper Bracelet. 

And now you've seen me post-shower and you'll have THAT image in your head for the rest of the day. #You'reWelcome

UFO's

That's Unidentified Food Objects. On your clothes. That you find days or weeks later after they are crusted over. This was on the back upper neck part of my puffy vest. Like,how the hell?? What is this? do I even want to know??? Then you shrug and wear the vest anyways. 

Having kids is an adventure, to say the least!!!