Come Back to Me!!!

Things I am missing in this pregnancy that I never thought I would.....

Alcohol

I honestly didn’t think I was going to miss alcohol at all, and thought “shoot, I can give that up easy. Not a problem.” I was never a huge partier to begin with, so I don’t miss that aspect of it, but I do miss being able to order wine or a martini with dinner, have champagne for a special occasion, or have a beer on a Friday night movie night at home with Neal.

Medicine

This is probably because I had a cold last week, but dang it I miss NyQuil! And DayQuil and Make-me-feel-better-already-Quil. And Excedrin Sinus pain medicine, and Alka-Seltzer. And being able to take anything I want to get rid of my sinus pain. The only medicine for colds that are on my “safe” list is Benadryl. Not a huge help in the congested, runny nose department.

Laying on my tummy

I didn’t realize how much I like to lay on my stomach until now it’s not an option for me. I’d read on my stomach, lay in front of the fire on my stomach, sleep on my stomach.. and now I’ve got a soccer ball in the way.

Putting on shoes like a normal person

Anyone who is not pregnant, don’t take this for granted! Wait until you are trying to bend over, realize that isn’t working, sit down and try and tie your running shoes at a side angle while balancing your foot on your knee. Or being as helpless as a toddler and holding out your foot to your husband and whining “I can’t get my boot off!!! Pull it for me???” Usually this takes place after I try and remove said boot myself first and hop around a few times, crash into the couch and breathlessly give up.

Having full control over my bladder

Yep. That thing that you haven’t done since you were like 2 years old? You know what I’m talking about… peeing your pants… that happens again when you are a grown up woman. A pregnant grown up woman. Sneeze. Piddle. Repeat. So learn from me… do not (repeat do NOT) wait to go to the bathroom if you feel like you have to go. You might sneeze and then wonder if the makers of Depends make fashionable styles.

Lunch Meat

I horribly, desperately miss lunch meat! And I never even liked sandwiches much and certainly never LONGED for a huge sandwich with turkey, salami, pepperoni and every other deli meat in existence. But those are all no-no’s for preggo… unless you want to heat up your meat to the point of steaming, then cool it down, then eat it. And that sounds like too much effort to me, so I’ll just stay in my longing-for-salami state until Bambino comes out.

Getting up from sitting positions

This has become increasingly difficult. Sitting on the floor requires Cirque De Solei-type abilities and flexibility in order to get back up. Just put a Twister board under me and I’d be a master… right hand goes over here, and if I put my left foot out here, maybe I can push myself up to my knee, and then stand?? Oh, forget it.  You wind up contorting yourself onto all fours; bumping into the coffee table with your big butt and making the glass that’s on there wobble back and forth precariously. This is where your husband starts laughing at you. And then you give him the stink-eye.

I know this will all be worth it in the end, when our little guy is here... but still.... COME BACK TO ME!!!!