For my Birthday Boy...

Dear Austin,

Happy Birthday my love!

I don’t know how I can even adequately say to you what I want to say… I’ve run it over in my mind so many times, each with a different result. Do I want to tell you funny stories about your birth? Or sentimental expressions of my feelings towards being your Momma?

Let me just start by saying that you are a part of my body… and you always will be. Your life started within mine, and your heartbeat pounded away right alongside mine. That, no matter how much you may fight in in the future when you are a rebellious teenager, is a bond no one can ever break. Sorry, try as you might sometimes, you will always be mine, and I will always be yours.

I was so scared to bring you into the world. I didn't know if I was ready for you, or what I was getting myself into… but the day you arrived, you arrived with such force my Doctor had to run from his office into the delivery room. You bounded into this world with such a purpose that I knew you were going to be a force to be reckoned with! I hope that passion and determination remains with you throughout your life, and serves you well. I very much think that you were meant to be in this world and it is the biggest privilege of my life to sit back and watch you grow and fulfill that purpose.

From day one you were strong, baby boy… oh so strong! You pushed your head up immediately and started checking out this big world you came barging into! You were always anxious to take the next step… when you were sitting, you wanted to crawl. When you were crawling you wanted to walk, and when you were walking you wanted to run! Always determined to keep excelling, and persistent in achieving those goals! Strength is a wonderful thing, and I hope you use your strength of body and of strength of character for good in this world. Please don’t ever bully, or push people around. Be their rock, their hero, their protector instead. Be strong for those who are weak.

You were also a very vocal little man, right from the beginning. You had a voice and an opinion and you wanted the world to know! I hope language is something you learn to love and hold dear… I hope you learn that the pen is indeed more mighty than the sword, and that words can be our most powerful weapon. Always speak kind words to others, and don’t be afraid to express your thoughts and feelings through any lines of communications. Tell the people you love that you love them everyday. Always say you are sorry and always say hello to those you pass...you never know who's day might be cheered up by it. 

The first year with you was one I will never forget…the way you breathed so softly as I held you onto my chest during naps, the way you looked at me and cracked a big smile for the very first time, the way you stole me and Daddy’s hearts over and over again. To say you changed our lives would be an understatement!! Yes there were bad times, and times when I just wanted to pull my hair out in frustration. It is true what they say though, and we are never given challenges we can’t handle, and that every second of the hard times is what makes the good times worth it. Always remember that, because your life will get hard at times too and you will want to give up or walk away from the challenge. Just know that in time all hardships pass, and there is always a light at the end of even the darkest of tunnels.

There is so much I hope for you baby boy! Your first year was just the beginning! I hope you grow up to be kind and loving…. I hope you are curious and want to explore… I hope you are compassionate and forgiving…. I hope you are rambunctious and mischievous! I want you to live your life how you want to live it… I want you to know you can be whatever you want to be, love whoever you want to love, and wander every corner of this earth and enjoy every breath you take.

Thank you for coming into our lives and turning them upside down! I wouldn’t trade one second of the last year together…. And I know the road ahead is paved with so many more memories for us!

Happy, happy birthday my baby boy… my sunshine on a rainy day. I love you more than I can ever say….

-Momma