Its funny how many times in my life I've said something and then ended up eating my words later on.
Nom nom nom.
My words are quite tasty, actually.
When I was pregnant I despaired over that fact that Austin was going to have to go to daycare.
I remember taking a shower one night, largely pregnant, and crying.
Just totally sobbing with shampoo running down into my ears as I made Neal stand in the bathroom so I could sob to him.
I didn't want Austin to go to daycare.
I didn't want to have someone else raise my baby.
I was afraid I he was going to forget who I was.
I was afraid we were going to be poor beyond destitute trying to pay for good care.
I cried at the injustice of how all my friends having babies got to either stay home or had family to look after the baby.
Sob and shampoo, sob and shampoo.
Neal tried to console me and (what else?) convince me that everything would be ok.
He told me that he and his sister went to daycare and they liked it, they had fun with the other kids.
I think I threw the shampoo bottle at him.
Fast forward several months and here we are... I'm back at work and Austin goes full-time to "school."
(I call daycare "school" because I like how it sounds. And doesn't the image of a little baby all dressed up cute going to school just make you squeal a little bit?)
Anyways.. I am now eating my previous words and savoring each bite.
I LOVE that Austin goes to school.
He is attending the school that is right in the same parking lot as my office, and caters to Kroger/Fred Meyer employees.
I get to see him everyday at my lunch and am greeted by huge smiles, giggles and a squirmy baby who just can't wait to be held by his Momma.
My fear that someone else would raise my baby??? Well, I realized that his "teachers" aren't raising my baby. They are playing with him, feeding him, teaching him and helping him grow into a little individual.
They teach him sign language, and songs, and what colors are.... and even to finger paint!
But my baby is still mine to raise.. he'll grow up with my morals, my rules.. and his teachers are just there to reinforce those.
And my fear about him forgetting me? Ok, one of my more stupid fears, I'll admit.
<Insert Neal rolling his eyes...>
He knows me.. his smile and excitement when he sees me during the day confirms that. And the way he plays with the ends of my hair while I sit and rock him? Just cooing and snuggling his face down into my arm? Oh yeah.. he knows his Mommy.
And for the money? Well.. its expensive. I won't lie. We could rent an apartment with what we pay... But its not as horrible as I thought it was going to be, and we will actually be able to eat more than just Top Ramen every night.
The social skills and learning and exposure he is getting is beyond worth the price to me.
And me being able to have my career and something that is just for me, while knowing I get to have the best damn lunch hour ever any day snuggling with my love?
Priceless.
Hm. Whadda know? Everything ended up ok. Neal was right.
Don't tell him I admitted to that though, ok??
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